Counter Story
by Alriadne
Summary: Lily "Li" Evans is a Slytherin who just wants to be one of the guys. PG-13 for possible swearing later on.
1. Li aboard the Hogwarts Express

People always say, "what's in a name?" Well a lot can be in a name. A name can tell a person a lot about you. Lily Evans believed that thoroughly. As a Slytherin par excellence, there was a lot in a name.

Li aboard the Hogwarts Express

Lucius Malfoy was not a normal boy and never wanted to be confused with one. There was something degrading about being called normal, like you weren't good enough. That's what his teachers said his grades in school were, normal, and he hated it. 

He didn't look normal and that he was glad of. You don't see a lot of boys with natural platinum blonde hair. It just doesn't happen, it wasn't normal. He and his best friend, Severus Snape, at six foot four, were both really tall, again not normal. Lucius and Severus looked very similar, excluding that fact that Lucius had blond hair and Severus had black.

Lucius sighed. It was another year beginning. Another year putting up the act of being tough and being evil. Normal people weren't evil. Lucius exited the train where he had been standing and went to search the station. The border to the other side was so obvious Lucius wondered why muggles didn't see it. That's another way Lucius wasn't normal. He was a wizard. He hated the 'normals' or what wizards called muggles. It was a shame that several good wizards were muggle born. 

Lucius crossed the border to the muggle side and saw one of his friends getting out of a car. There was a good wizard to be that was muggle born. Li Evans caught sight of Lucius and waved him over.

"It's ok dad, Lucius will help me from here on out," Li addressed the adults that had been in the car. "I'll get on the train ok by myself."

"Ok sweetie," the man replied. Hearing 'sweetie' reminded Lucius that Li was indeed not a wizard at all, but a witch. That was the thing about Li, SHE never wanted to be reminded that she was indeed not a boy but a girl. Lucius and his friends always treated Li like another one of the guys, so they often forgot that she wasn't one. She even looked like a guy. She wore her red hair chin length, just as Severus and Lucius did or she would stuff it into her hat. People just assumed the chin length hair cut was something the three of them did, they didn't realize that one was actually a girl. 

Li also had the body of a young boy, or she had, Lucius added to himself as he glanced at Li. You couldn't really make it out because of her baggy tee-shirt, but there was the hint of the maturing that had been taking place. She was most likely not going to be happy about this. 

Li's father got back in the car and drove off, blowing a kiss to Li, who looked embarrassed and looked away. Lucius bent to pick up Li's trunk. 

"What are you doing?" Li asked.

"Helping," Lucius replied.

"I can get it by myself, don't treat me like that," Li growled.

"Like what?"

"Like a girl," Li replied shuddering. "Go help Narcissa, I think she needs help."

"Look I'm sorry," Lucius apologized.

"If I wanted to be hassled, I would go home to my muggle sister," Li whispered bitterly. That last comment reminded Lucius once again of Li's muggle birth. She was the best example of a wizard/witch born muggle. Because of Li, Lucius' group of Slytherins had implemented a rule; you don't mess with a fellow Slytherin, no matter if they were pureblood or otherwise. Lucius inforced that your house was deeper than your blood.

"Let's go find Severus," Li suggested. "He told me that he would use Omnioculars to tape the cup for me. Mes parents wouldn't let me go."

"Sure," Lucius replied, glad that Li wasn't upset anymore. They quickly boarded the train that would take them to school, Hogwarts. It was a school for witches and wizards and considered one of the best in Europe. 

"Severus has to pick the last cabin doesn't he?" Li complained as they searched the whole train for their friend. She stuck her head in the second to last compartment on their search.

"Well if it isn't one of the three stooges?" the boy in the cabin sneered.

"Back off Black," Lucius said, coming into the cabin.

"So we have Curly and Moe, but where is Harry?" another boy asked. This boy was sitting down on a seat near the window. He was long and lanky even in a sitting position, like he didn't know what to do with various limbs. His dark brown hair was messy as it always was and his thick glasses were slightly askew on his face. He had brown eyes that Li had heard girls in her dorm talking about, but had never and still didn't think were special. This boy was James Potter, the son of a long line of wizards.

"I never thought you could sink lower Potter, watching Muggle TV shows, tsk tsk, if I didn't know better, I would say you had a bit of mudblood in you," Li said meanly. Purebloods were so uptight about blood, it really didn't matter, but that didn't stop her from using it against those who cared.

"You want to fight?" the first boy asked. This boy was very much like his friend. He also was blessed with limbs that looked too long and with brown eyes. This one did not wear glasses and had black hair where his friend had brown. His name matched his hair color he was Sirius Black. 

"Fighting Black? So crude, but then again, you are Griffindors," Lucius sneered. 

"Get out of here you Slythering scum," came from the cowardly boy in the corner. He was pudgy and short. His skin looked like it should be falling off. He resembled a blond beach ball at times. 

"Feeling brave Pettigrew?" Li inquired menacingly, brandishing her wand. Peter Pettigrew cowered in fear. "I feel we have associated with these," she paused. "Griffinors, long enough, don't you agree?" 

"Quite," Lucius agreed. The two exited the cabin and went to the last compartment where they saw Serveus Snape in his makeshift potions lab. 

"It's bad enough that you do this in our dorm, do you have to do this now?" Lucius asked.

"Of course I do! I've almost discovered something, it's a way to shake off the Impervious curse," Severus informed them. 

"What would anyone need that for?" Li asked.

"Who knows? Just nice to know I have the way to throw it off. I also developed a more effective Truth potion over the summer, works much better that that old Verimus does."

"Maybe we can use it on Potter and co," Lucius pondered.

"Did you tape the cup for me?" Li asked impatiently. 

"I was too busy to go," Severus replied.

"Severus!" Li yelled.

"If I didn't know you better, I would say you are a girl, you sounded just like one a minute ago," Murgatroyed Goyle, a particularly ugly Slytherin who was good for nothing except to carry out orders, laughed. Before anyone could move, Goyle was ten feet in the air.

"You think that's funny Goyle? You think that's funny? Well how funny do you think it would be if I were to send you zooming out the window? How much do you think it would hurt to have glass through your head? Would that be Goyle?" Li threatened. Goyle shook his head. 

"He didn't mean anything by it, honest. He was just joking," Jasper Crabbe stuttered. 

"Let him down Li," Lucius instructed.

"Not until he's learned his lesson. Have you learned your lesson Goyle? You never call me a girl. You got that?" Goyle nodded furiously. Li brought her wand down. Goyle quickly fell face first on the floor. "He better have been joking," Li uttered. She went to go sit down and read. Crabbe quickly helped Goyle back to his feet and took him to a corner to apparently lecture his friend about whom you joke about and whom you don't.

"Don't be so sensitive Li, gonna kill someone some day. Anyway, I actually did tape the cup; I forgot I had," Severus said.

"Thank you. It's not my fault people haven't learned not to make me angry," Li grumbled.

"You have to work with people occasionally," Lucius told her.

"I don't want to."

"Not everyone has it as easy as you do," Richard Lestrange told her.

"This is coming from the boy whose parents send him galleons by the bag full? I'm supposed to listen to you? Whatever, I'm going to find the food cart, later," Li said raising her hands. 

"Later," Severus and Lucius replied as Li walked out the door. 

Who do those prats think they are to question me? Li asked herself. Why should I listen to them? They are nothing! Nothing! She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't notice the person she had run over.

"Sorry man," said the cheerful voice of the boy she had knocked over. "I wasn't looking where I was going." The boy, probably a Hufflepuff, Li thought scornfully, gave her a hand up and went on his way. 

"How dare he!" Li muttered. 

"How dare he what? Knock you over? From my vantage point, you were the one who ran into him. He was just smart enough not to accuse you of it," Remus Lupin told her.

"You want to go flying?" Li asked him. She was good at Charms, especially at ones that had to do with flying. Remus Lupin looked down at her. Once again, Li cursed her height. She was tall for a girl, but from a boy's point of view, she was just average height at five eight. Even Remus Lupin, who wasn't especially tall, looked over her head. 

Remus Lupin was a bit of a mystery to all Slytherins. They knew something was up with his monthly visits to his 'sick mother,' but it was considered below them to care to find out that it was he was doing. Who cares what a stupid Griffindor is doing missing school? Remus was slightly taller than Li and had honey-brown hair. His similarly colored eyes hinted at intelligence. 

"Not really, I like my feet on the ground where they are," Lupin replied.

"Would you are your friend like anything dear?" the woman who pushed the snacks cart asked them.

"I would like some chocolate frogs. You'll have to ask him what he wants separately," Remus told the lady politely. Li smiled to herself when she heard him and he. "Thanks you ma'am." Remus quickly took his stock pile of candy away leaving Li all alone. 

The corridor down to the cabin where his friends were was littered with little kids; all getting in the way and just generally causing trouble. Remus held his hoard of sweets trying not to spill any. Why did his friends have to pick one of the last cabins?

"Looked kinda strange don't you think?" he heard the voice of Sirius say. Remus entered the room and poured his Chocolate Frogs onto the ground for the friends to share. 

"You all owe me a knut for all of this," he informed them. "What were you talking about?"

"Li Evans. Seemed a bit off. I think he was wearing an even baggier shirt, if possible. Ever wonder what his real name is? No good Englishman names their son Li," James pondered.

"Let's do a good prank to get back for barging in on us," Sirius said excitedly. 

"Like what? What haven't we done before that we can do?" James asked.

"Besides, I don't want to go flying," Peter whispered.

"You can't tell me you are afraid," Sirius cried. 

"Of course not, we just like our feet on the ground, our dignity in tact and our hair its normal substance and color," Remus replied matter-of-factly. 

"This is what the Marauders have become!" Sirius exclaimed in a defeated voice.

"Maybe we should pick our battles more carefully," Remus said. 

"He might as well have called you a mudblood and you aren't going to respond!" Sirius shouted. 

"Why should I? It's not like I care," James retorted.

"Let's set it up so they all are wearing dresses and sing I will Survive. We can give Evans the first solo in return for calling you a mudblood. You guys in?" Sirius first looked at Peter knowing he would agree with anything Sirius proposed. Peter nodded predictably. 

"I'm in," James said.

"Might as well make it unanimous," Remus told him. He sighed inwardly, here went another year of fighting with the Slytherins. "Let everyone who cares know that I was against starting another year of interhourse pranking."

"Remus, you say that every year! Can you get a new phrase for once? Honestly, if this was a muggle high school, they'd put that as most often says for the yearbook," Sirius complained. Remus threw the nearest thing at Sirius, which happened to be a cat. Said cat wasn't too happy about being thrown. The cat, which was James', spread its claws and landed on Sirius with a yowl. James quickly snatched his cat out of Sirius' grasp as the angry, scratched marauder was about to throw it back.

"HEY!" Sirius protested that his weapon of mass destruction was taken away from him. 

"Throw something other than my cat," James told him.

"But, but, but," Sirius whined.

"You sound like a broken record," Peter informed him.

"No buts, can't use my cat as a missile, that goes for you as well, Mooney," James said. "Now, what transfiguration spells will we need, better get out the book, we're about to get pranking."

Another year begun, another fight between Li, Lucius, Severus and James, Remus, Sirius. Anther battle between Slytherins and Griffindors, continuing the ever on going war between good and evil, but which side is evil? Which side is right, and which side is wrong? You don't know everything yet, so don't decide until it's all been said and done.


	2. To Be A Good Slytherin

****

inA/N I just noticed that I Will Survive was released after the time when this would have been taking place. So just pretend that Gloria Gaynor was a witch and came out with the song for the wizarding world before she did the muggle world so it can coincide with my story. That you for the use of you imagination.

To Be a Good Slytherin

Slytherins do not look happy. That was the unwritten rule according to who knows. Slytherins just stand in the back looking bored and making fun of everything, not actually getting involved. As a Slytherin, you never skipped, you never whistled, you never sang and you never laughed. Snickering was ok, as was snorting and all other evil sounding types of laughing, but laughing and most of all giggling were out of the question. It was the job of the older Slytherins to make sure the younger ones knew this. Prefects gave detention to young Slytherins they saw doing any of the offensive things. 

In fact, now that Severus Snape thought about, smiling was even frown upon. You were supposed to sneer or look gloomy. All this suited Severus just fine. He didn't like smiling, laughing, or having fun, which was not his cup of tea, and he had never giggled or skipped in his life. Serveus was as Slytherin as Slytherin could get and proud of it. 

"This is lame," he whispered to Li, who nodded.

"We have to lead them to the tower later, being a prefect is such a drag. First years get on my nerves, it's like being surrounded by a swarm of killer bunnies," Li replied.

"Killer bunnies?" Severus asked.

"Montey Python and the Holy Grail, it was shown over the summer on TV."

"You watched muggle television?"

"What would you have me do? Be yelled at by Petunia?" Li retorted.

"Shut up!" Lucius commanded.

"Yes master," Li said sarcastically. Severus snorted in true Slytherin fashion. "Dumbledore is about to speak."

"Who cares what that old coot says?" Lucius asked maliciously. 

"That old coot is a powerful wizard and made all the teachers stop calling me Miss Evans," Li snapped.

"Sorry, forgot. Ok, so he's halfway decent," Lucius compromised. Li knew she wasn't going to get further praise out of Lucius. Dumbledore stood up; signaling to all that hadn't been paying attention that the sorting was over.

"I would like to say a few words. First, Mr. Filch would like to remind all of you that the list of banned objects is displayed on the wall next to his office. Also, the Forbidden Forest is truly and honestly forbidden and it is not called that because it is really a nice place to be and we don't want people to find out how good a place it is. Anyone who goes in risks a detention and a horrible death, consider yourselves warned. For my final words, I know how you all look forward to seeing where my words come from, so I'm going to quote the favorite words of one of our Slytherin prefects and say 'Wingardium Leviosare.' Now enjoy the feast," Dumbledore announced before clapping his hands to make the food appear. A boom sounded through out the hall. 

_"_ _At first I was afraid I was petrified"_ a voice sang. It was slightly feminine in sound. It was of one not used to singing, but not bad at it. Everyone looked up to see Li Evans dressed in a dress and singing._ "Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side but then I spent so many nights thinkin' how you did me wrong and I grew strong and I learned how to get along."_ Another person stepped into the spotlight.

__

"And so you're back from outer space I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face," The more masculine voice of Severus Snape sang.

__

"I should have changed that stupid lock," Lucius cut in._ "I should have made you leave your key if I'd've known for just one second you'd back to bother me."_ All the Slytherins chimed in for the chorus. All were wearing dresses and singing in slightly higher pitched voices than their own.

__

"Go on now go, walk out the door. Just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? D'ya think I'd crumble? D'ya think I'd lay down and die?   
Oh no, not I, I will survive," The Slytherins all crooned. _ "Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give and I'll survive, I will survive, Hey hey."   
_  
_"It took all the strength I had not to fall apart. Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart,"_ Lucius sang taking the over for a solo.   
_"And I spent oh so many nights, just feeling sorry for myself. I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high," _Severus interrupted.   
_"And you see me somebody new I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you. And so you feel like droppin' in and just expect me to be free. Now I'm savin' all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me,"_ Li sang, having the longest solo once again. The Slytherins once again sang the famous chorus. 

"Is Evans' dress padded or did you go overboard with the spell because I swear Evans' has breasts," James asked Sirius. 

"I don't think so, but it's possible I messed up the spell. It was hard to coordinate it with Dumbledore's clap so I might have done something wrong. Regardless, if we take a picture, we can blackmail him about having man boobs whether they are a product of the spell or dress," Sirius said.

"Agreed," James replied. "He's actually a good singer."

With yet another boom, the Slyterins were returned to their normal state of dress. All of them looked angry, but Lucius, Severus and especially Li looked positively at boiling point. Li lifted her wand in true fashion. She cried the spell to send James, Sirius, Remus and Peter into the air.

"That was very nice Potter, check out my spell," Li snarled. She muttered something under her breath. The Marauders all turned green and silver and started doing loops in the air. "You know, I've always wondered how high the ceiling was, you can't really tell because of the enchantment, so I'm going to allow you four to be the first people to see the true ceiling." Li muttered something else and they started spinning faster and faster. Then they began rising rapidly in the air. 

"Put them down" Dumbledore demanded. Li looked like she was considering for a minute before dropping her arm to her side. The four boys began to fall quickly. Dumbledore shot Li a look. She whispered a spell for a trampoline a second before they were in danger. They went up again, but not nearly that far. 

When they finally stopped going up and down, Dumbledore spoke. "I would like to see Mr. Potter, Lupin, Black Pettigrew and Evans in my office." The five students followed the wizard out of the Great Hall and to his office. He sat down behind his desk and sighed. 

"That was not funny in the least," Dumbledore said, though you could tell his eyes were sparkling merrily. "You will all receive a detention for this. And you Evans, that was very advanced, though dangerous display of charms. I want you to go talk to Professor Flitwick about giving you more advanced this to work on since those charms you used weren't in the curriculum." The Marauders all opened their months to protest hat Li wasn't getting a detention as well. "You will be getting a detention as well, but I think it would be a good idea for you all to have separate detentions. You are all dismissed though I would like to say I'm astonished at the prefects in this group for acting so immaturely." The five of them filed out of the room. Li quickly headed down the hall toward the Slytherin House.

"Hey Evans, you looked pretty good in a dress!" Sirius shouted after her.

"Immature prats," she muttered under her breath. The Griffindor house was in the opposite direction, so she was saved from having to walk with them. She reached the gateway and whispered the password, "Slytherin Kings." That was what everyone called Lucius, Severus and herself. 

"What did he do?" Lucius asked.

"Detention," Li replied in a level voice.

"We're playing chess, want to challenge the king?" Severus asked.

"Course not, chess isn't fun, let's go swimming," Li suggested.

"Do we have to do this every year?" Lucius asked. "The water is cold!"

"Didn't you once say that a Slytherin should never complain?" Li asked laughing.

"I meant in public, you know those rules don't apply when in the company of fellow Slytherins. By the way, good job with Potter and co, those were some awesome spells. Practiced over the summer?" Lucius asked.

"Course, Montey Python wasn't on all summer and talking to Petunia is not fun. The only other thing left is the have a staring contest with the owl," Li told them.

"Owl won as usual?" Severus asked chuckling.

"Nope, I did. I used a spell so my eyes wouldn't water," Li replied. The group had a good laugh at the idea of an owl loosing a staring contest. The friends changed into their swimming trunks and grabbed towels. 

Li was the first to test the water, it was cold like always, but that didn't bother her much. She went to the tree by the lake. She found the rope she had attached in her first year and swung into the water, Screaming out the Tarzan yell. She fell into the water with a splash. Lucius and then Severus followed her. Severus swung back and forth several times on the rope and got stuck. Lucius and Li burst out laughing at Severus who was stranded on the rope. He had lost grip with his feet and one of his arms was waving about trying to catch his balance. Lucius had to get out and push the rope for him. 

"Hey Li! You looked like a buoy!" Lucius yelled. Indeed, the swimming top that Li wore had puffed up with air. **(A/N like the ones Auzzies wear because of the hole in the ozone over there.) **

Li splashed him. Lucius pushed a wave of water back at her, but it got Severus who was standing right next to her. Li looked at Severus, his air looked like it was pasted to his head, she pointed and laughed. Of course, his pride and honor being in question, Severus had no choice but to retaliate on the offender and the laugher. This started a whole spashing war. 

Lucius was the first to stager out of the lake and lay out on the grass. Severus quickly followed him. Li swam around a bit before getting out as well. Her swimming shorts stuck to her legs. She was wearing a regular girls' bathing suit underneath, but wore boys' trunks and the swimming top over.

The three lay there in a circle, all exhausted from the fight. 

"Long live the Slytherins," Lucius offered. "The mightiest house of them all." Li and Severus nodded. 

Slytherin was indeed the best house, Li thought. They were the ones who people misunderstood the most, but still the were the best friends. Life was quickly passing by. She wished she could stay here forever. Here, no cares in the world with her friends who would always be there for her. Here was a good place to be.

  


  


  



	3. In Li's Room

In Li's Room

Li looked over the lake. Had it just been last week that they had all gone swimming? Had it only been last week that they had been so carefree? Li sighed and looked around the room. It was hers. After spending her first three years sleeping in the normal Slytherin girls' dorms, but had tired of the gossip and the nature of the girls. She had gone to Dumbledore to beg for liberation from them and was rewarded by her own room.

The room was rather small, but she was alone, so Li didn't mind. She had a window, a bed and a trunk to use as a bookcase, that was enough. The room was situated between the sixth years boys and girls' dorms. The door opened up to the girls' dorms so Lily entered and exited the same way they did.

The room was rather plain. It was painted a light green and had no hangings on the walls and no decoration. The thing other than privacy that Lily loved about the room was the window. She often spent hours sitting here and looking out on the world as it slept under a dark cover that sometimes kept it warm but sometimes cold. Sometimes the cover was gray, because of the low clouds that passed over them, but it didn't matter.

Li looked out over the lake. She had always thought it beautiful, but tonight she could make out a stag taking a drink from the lake, it looked peaceful. Li sighed and played with her short hair. Sometimes she wished she wasn't a Slytherin. Being a Slytherin was so important; you always had to be ready to act, to decide; to plan. Sometimes all she wanted to do was watch scenes like this and not care about the fate of the world. 

It was strange to think that the fate of the world rested on the shoulders of her friends. Lord Voldemort was recruiting the seventh year Slytherins and next year he would be on her friends. Li wasn't completely sure where she stood. All her friends were most likely going to join, but how could she turn her back on Dumbledore? Hadn't he given her a chance? Hadn't he introduced her to this world where she was accepted? Where she belonged? How could she betray the man that gave her that?

And how could she kill off muggles and muggleborns? She might not b fond of muggles, but that was no reason to kill them. There were some perfectly good muggles simply with the bad luck of not being born with magical ability, that's how the world worked, you couldn't help it whether you were or not, it was just who you were. 

Such things were better put off. The most pressing matter on Li's mind was the Marauders and on a night like this, it was hard to think about even the sweet revenge she needed to take. It would have to be a good prank, no one messed with Li Evans, though they did get her into a more advanced charms class. 

Li wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad. If she stood out as being talented, then Voldemort would recruit her right away and not give her the choice that Li valued. She had grown up in a home where that was the most important thing. It had been ingrained on her mind that everyone should be given the chance to make an informed decision about everything. 

Maybe I should go for a walk? Li mused. She quickly decided against it due to the fact that she was comfortable. Life was passing too quickly, it had only been a minute ago she had been on the train, making that decision that would change her life forever. Sometimes Li wished she could dig her heels into time and make it pass more slowly so she could enjoy where she was. 

The future didn't looked good. Li had little ambition that Slytherin was famous for. She knew she didn't want to too seriously involved in the war. She had no plan to marry and was even slightly repulsed by the idea. What was the point? Someone was going to leave in the end leaving the other heartbroken. Dating was even more pointless. It hardly ever resulted in marriage and was just a stupid exercise that took up time better spent hanging out with friends. 

Severus and Lucius disagreed, as they always did. They had both had many relationships with girls where the girls ended up heartbroken. Girls were such pitiful beings, so weak and frivolous, so prone to crying and carrying on when they should have been more prudent. Li held disdain for girls. It was like being a muggle or wizard, either you were born with the luck of being a boy or you weren't. You shouldn't be hurt for that and you could work with them but one shouldn't try to act like one. 

****

A/N These are Li's thoughts, not mine, reasons will be explained later. 

Friendships were the relationships that worked. Friends could be counted on more than lovers. A lover would betray you easily and leave you; a friend is more loyal. A friend was always there where as a lover would desert you when you were in need. In a friendship, you maintained a bit of distance that kept you from getting too hurt. You also didn't have to tell your friends everything, just as soon as you're ready. How many times had Li heard, "We should have no secrets between us," from various girls to boys in the Great Hall? Secrets were what made a person interesting. Without secrets, a person was nothing. You didn't how everyone your true face.

Li especially scorned the girls who chased after her thinking her a boy. Most of these girls were Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, but Li got a few Griffindor and some lower grade Slytherins. Girls were so silly and emotional and so blind because they never got passed looks. They didn't bother.

I should really get some sleep, Li told herself. Li just couldn't make herself get up and go to sleep, it wasn't worth it, she would fall asleep when she fell asleep and where she was happened to be a fine place for the sleeping to take place.

The thing Li really missed about being a girl was being pretty. Li loved being though of as a boy and loved living her life like a boy would, it was so free but there where times where should would fine herself looking in the mirror and piling her short hair onto her head trying to make herself look pretty. It was just a feeling, like electricity. Dresses were also something she missed giving up, she loved the feeling of the material. Occasionally, she would try on a dress her mum had made her pack and just walk around the room. She didn't know why.

There were a great many mysteries in life. Why she loved feeling pretty? What the purpose of this all was? Which side should she chose? Why there was a giant dog and a werewolf right next to the stag outside?

Li did a double take on that last question. She looked back outside to see if her unconscious question was right. It was. Li looked hard at the animals. The stag appeared to be looking around before it turned around and fled into the forest, it was followed by the wolf, dog and a little shadow that appeared to be a rat. Li rubbed her eyes she must be more tired than she thought. Li closed her eyes that held heaviness to them. Li had one last thought before she drifted off, was she going to wake up? Li supposed she was but wasn't sure if she wanted to, things were a lot easier when she was sleeping. 

****

A/N I need advice about which direction to head in, please put suggestions in review and remember, this is the counter story. It is anti-typical L/J fluff. I have an idea for later, but I don't know how to get there. Also, thank you to WindRider-Damia and Hanna-chan. **Also to Damia, I know what you mean, I usually don't read Lily is a Slytherin fics that much either. I just got tired of writing the same thing and had to write this because it was countering the fic I usually write and I clicked on a very good Lily is a Slytherin fic by accident and loved it. **


	4. The Kings

****

A/N Thank you Damia for the ideas, I will probably end up using them. But I don't want them to find out any sooner than the holidays because I want to continue to show you the relationship between Lucius, Severus and Li without having all that stuff. I'm trying to get across the social pressures on all three of them that have caused them to act as they did in the HP books. You know, why Severus and Lucius are mean to Harry, why Severus favors Draco, all that stuff. If I introduce the Marauders element other than that of an enemy and rival, than I won't be able to properly demonstrate that. I'm almost definitely going to use number five. 

The Kings

Severus woke up late one morning. He had been up late trying to work on his potions. Lucius always complained that the room smelled because of them but that was beside the point. Severus was had almost missed breakfast, almost. 

Severus slowly made his way out of the dorms and to the Great Hall where he proceeded to the Slytherin table. Lucius was didn't even notice seeing as he was too wrapped up in exploring the mouth of a fellow Slytherin. Severus remembered her name was Janice, as an after thought. Severus sat down next to a disgruntled Li. 

"Lovely morning," Li said sarcastically. 

Li never did like any of his or Lucius' romantic escapades. Finally she ha just learned to deal with it, but that didn't make her happy. In this case, Severus agreed, this was disgusting, right infront of everyone as well. Had they no decency for people attempting to eat breakfast?

"Yes, this is really the thing I need to see while I eat breakfast," Severus replied just as sarcastically. Severus and Li yawned simultaneously. 

"Late night?" they both asked. 

"Yea." The two snorted at how silly they sounded.

"What's your excuse?" Li inquired.

"Working on a new potion and then I remembered that McGonagol assigned a paper that's due today," Serveus told her. Li shook her finger at him. "So what's your excuse? Don't tell me you spent the whole night watching the lake again, it's so, so, so unSlytherin." Both Li and Severus heard a noise that sounded like milk being spit up from the Griffindor table. They looked over o see the Marauders all choking. The two Slytherins shrugged at each other. The strangeness of Griffindors was not something of interest.

"I spent the night reading. Ok, so I watched the lake for a while, but I was too lazy to move and was too tired to read," Li replied. A sigh of relief sounded from the Griffindor table. "What's up with them?" 

"Who knows? Let's try to convince lover boy here to go to class without the thing attached to him," Severus said. 

"Bad breath spell?" Li asked, a wicked gleam in her eye. This was a spell she used often on her friends when she had had enough of their girlfriends and dates. Severus nodded. Li muttered something. Lucius' eyes went wide. He pushed the girl away from him.

"Kindly brush your teeth in the morning," he told her before standing up. 

"Let's go, Astrology is first," Li said nonchalantly. 

"Thank you," Lucius said.

"Why?" Severus asked.

"I was getting tired of her and was trying to come up with an excuse to get away." The three chuckled and made their way out the door. 

"When is the Quidditch season starting?" Severus asked.

"Tomorrow," Li said. "Captain wants to make sure we're all in top shape and is going to have people trying out, you know competition to make us fly better."

"Still keeping the chaser position?" Severus asked Lucius.

"Yea. I would try out for beater," Lucius said, "but Yeo and Adder are better than I am. You staying with seeker?" Li nodded.

"I'm too small to be either beater or keeper and I can't catch things that don't have a mind of their own," Li responded. That was one of the reasons she had quite softball as a young girl. The other reason was the girls all were more concerned with keeping their uniforms clean than actually playing, but what do you expect from dress obsessed six-year-olds? 

"Why would Li switch?" Severus asked. "She's never failed to catch the snitch."

"Remember, in public it's he not she," Li reminded them. 

"Whatever man, whatever floats your boat," Lucius said. 

"We're going to be late to Astrology if we walk at this pace!" Li exclaimed looking at the time. 

"I'm going to get you a proper wizard watch for your birthday," Lucius told her. "It's degrading to see you looking at that thing, even if you did enchant it."

"So why do we need Astrology anyway?" Severus asked. "This time could be better spent finding the mistakes in Rerich's The Mechanics of Potions."

"Or researching the great texts of Alexander," Li added.

"Or finding a nice girl to snog," Lucius said absentmindedly. Severus and Li both looked at him. "What?" Both of his friends shook their heads. The three made their way to Astrology. It was one of the few subjects that the Slytherins shared with the Ravenclaws. Out of all the houses, the Slytherins got on with the Ravenclaws best. Though the Slytherins generally didn't like studying in more than one subject, the studious Ravenclaws made friends with the Slytherins and often supplied materials and resources that they had come across in their studies. 

"So who is your next girlfriend going to be? If I didn't know better, I would say you snogged almost every girl in the school senseless," Li snapped.

"Lay off it Li. I know you don't approve so get off my back already. I can't help it if the ladies love me," Lucius replied.

"Humble isn't he?" Severus asked.

"One of his finer points," Li replied.

"Never met a guy with more humility," Severus continued.

"Practically his middle name."

"Lay off it already," Lucius snapped. 

"Yes, sir. Whatever you say sir," Li and Severus said together. 

"That is happening too much for my comfort this morning," Severus commented.

"I concur, we sound like little muggle girls, in a moment we're going to start saying jinx," Li agreed. 

"Are we going to throw the traditional Halloween party?" Severus asked, changing the subject.

"Course, but isn't it a bit early to be planning it?" Li said.

"It's September thirtieth, we have a month, that means we must send out invitations, get permission, get food and get decorations," Severus informed her, he counted down things on his fingers.

"You forgot music. Are we going to try to get live music again?" Lucius asked.

"Don't ask me, you're the one with the unlimited wallet," Li told him. "I don't like planning things."

"Not my strong point either," Lucius put in.

"I'll do all myself again," Severus huffed. An outsider would think him offended, but he was used to it because this conversation happened every year and Severus loved planning things anyway and hated people interfering even if they thought they were helping. 

"So what do we do for fun until then?" Li asked.

"We go to Astrology," Lucius said like they were going on a great quest.

"But that's not fun," Li protested.

"Then we shall make it fun," Severus assured her. "Note passing and pranks have never failed to brighten even the most boring class."

"Good point my friend. Let us go to," Li paused for dramatic effect, "Astrology."


	5. Quidditch Season

QUIDDITCH SEASON

"Li Evans and Lucius Malfoy, I guess you are back to try out for the team," Josh Flint said.

"Might as well give us the positions and cut the crap," Lucius replied. Flint looked afraid. It didn't matter that he was a year above Lucius, everyone was afraid of the Malfoys. 

"Might as well, but rules are rules and I've seen a second year that could give Li a run for his money," Flint sneered. He wasn't fond of Li.

"You want to put money on that?" Severus asked, coming up behind them.

"Ah Snape, the one who never could make the team," Flint said.

"I think he needs to be taught a little respect," Li suggested. She smiled a grin full of malice.

"Not now Li," Lucius said dismissively. "Lets fly." 

"Accido Brooms!" Li cried. She always had been good at Charms. The brooms flew toward them. They were both expensive brooms that Mr. Malfoy had bought for them. He too had been willing to over look the fact that Li was a mudblood. Li mounted her Silver Arrow and kicked off. She immediately went soaring up into the clouds. She swerved around Gerham, the keeper. The broom would respond to her slightest whim. No one could ride as well on her broom as well as she could. Even Lucius had occasional trouble with his and he was a brilliant flyer. 

Li flew with the wind, wherever it took her. The wind always guided her to where she should properly be. Most Quidditch players cursed the wind and were happy when a game day was without even the smallest breeze. Li felt differently. The wind was be closest of friends. It told her little things no one else would know. Turn left, there's a bludger coming, the snitch it's right below you. 

She stopped for a moment and watch Lucius mount. Severus stayed on the ground. He had never liked heights. The chasers passed the quaffle back and forth in practice and tried to score on the keeper. Li caught sight of the seekers she was up against. There were three of them. All were boys of varying ages between second and fifth. They were going down. A hint of gold caught Li's eye. She swooped down and extended her arm. 

"Start looking for the snitch!" Flint called as Li's hand encircled the tiny golden winged ball. She held it up. She turned into a dive that she came up out of right before crashing into Flint who was standing on the ground. The broom slowed and she calmly handed the ball to Flint. He let it go again. She smiled sweetly and closed her eyes for a minute. 

The other seekers were looking for it. They had a minute head start on her and they still hadn't found it. Li laughed to herself and opened her eyes. She scanned the field and caught sight of it. It was right next to the ear of one of the boys trying out for her position. He was so stupid; he didn't even see it. 

Li made a beeline for the snitch. The poor boy saw her and swerved out of the way. Her hand once again found the cool metal of the snitch. Had Flint claimed these boys were better than her? He had something to learn. Li let the snitch go once again and watched the Slytherins trying out once again. All were boys, girls were turned away at the first gate. Good thing for her that few realized she was female. 

Li had only seen one girl ever make the team, other than herself. That girl had demanded to tryout and refused to move when they told her to. They had grudgingly seen her flying and gave her a beater position. Every year Flint and his friends tried to turn that girl away and every year she came back. This year she wouldn't make it. They had already made sure to fill the position of beater. Li flew down to Flint. 

"So when is the first practice?" she asked.

"What are you talking about? We haven't decided who is seeker," Flint replied icily.

"That's bull and you know it," Li snapped. 

"Is there a problem?" Lucius asked, cutting in.

"No problem, just deciding the team, you are both in," Flint admitted.

"Thank you for tell us," Lucius said. Flint walked off to look at the other potential chasers.

"I don't need you to fight my battles," Li snapped at Lucius. 

"I was just looking out for your hide," Lucius replied.

"Well I don't need you to! I can take care of myself!" 

"Knock it off you two, take it easy Li, you know it's just shit. It has nothing to do with you. We don't think you're weak or anything. He didn't mean anything by it," Severus cut in. "Isn't that right?" Lucius nodded.

"Are we good?" he asked.

"Sorry, I'm touchy about my position on the team. I want to earn it, I don't want to be on the team cause the captain is afraid of my friend," Li explained. She cursed her temper once again.

"You would have been on no matter what. Flint likes messing with you cause he knows you'll react. You don't get on to the team because of me, you've got talent," Lucius assured her.

"Maybe you should look into playing for a team," Severus suggested. 

"Maybe," Li smiled. 

"We hanging tonight?" Lucius asked.

"I could probably use a drink," Severus replied.

"You're potions are probably just as good for getting high," Li joked. Severus tried to look menacing, but couldn't help grinning.

"Wanna hit the club? Pick up some chicks?" Lucius asked. Li looked at him. "Ok, we'll pick up chicks, you can drink and dance."

"Works for me," Li replied. They three started for the castle. 

A/N Sorry, I just saw FAME again and it's in my mind. I keep trying to talk like the actors. I'm speaking in a bit of a Brooklyn accent in my mind. I think I am seriously disturbed. Next chapter is them going clubbing. I figure that my excuse for people not mentioning Lily's good Quidditch skills was cause she was on Slytherin team. 


	6. Dares and Clubbing

"Li, I dare you," Lucius said.

"When pigs fly and hell freezes over," Li replied.

"I double dare you," Severus retorted. 

"I double dog dare you," Lucius said. 

"Fine I'll do it, but on several conditions. First and foremost, no pictures may be taken of me. If I see any pictures being taken of me I will hex you into next week. Second, you guys have to dance with me cause I don't want to dance with those slobs down there," Li informed them.

"We agree to your conditions. Now get up there, Narcissa has agreed to help you. Get going," Lucius commanded. Li walked up to the girl's dorm like she was going to her doom. Severus and Lucius also got ready, but they were much faster so were forced to wait. Narcissa came down the stairs to the commonroom first.

"What took so long?" Severus asked impatiently.

"Never rush a lady," she replied. "May I present Lily." 

"I'm not coming down! I look like a ho!" a voice cried from upstairs.

"You have to, it's part of the deal. You also have to come to the club," Lucius yelled back.

"Is anyone else in the common room?" Li yelled.

"No, just us," Severus replied. She peeked her head down to check and proceeded downstairs. Lucius' and Severus' jaws hit the floor. You could not tell that this redhead before them was one of their best friends. Her hair had even been lengthened.

"Now no one can tell about this! This is so degrading," Li, no Lily, complained. "What are you guys staring at? You've seen Narcissa before."

Lucius picked up his jaw first. "Of course we've seen her before. Seeing two lovely ladies next to each though, is a real treat."

"Sod off, unless you want to go flying," Lily snapped.

"Come on, let's go," Severus said. The three friends sneaked out of Hogwarts and made their way for Hogsmeade. 

"Let's hit the club!" Lily cried as the entered the small town. They quickly found Triple U, the club they usually haunted, and got in. They knew the back way so they didn't have to present the fake ids they carried. 

"Want to dance?" Lucius asked her.

"Sure." Lily and Lucius danced while Severus looked on. He wasn't jealous, he didn't think he was. He just wanted to dance with Lily and wanted to rip off Lucius' head because he was dancing with her and not Severus. That was jealously, right? The song ended and Lily came back to where Severus was standing while Lucius went to find a girl to dance with. 

"Do you expect me to dance?" Severus asked.

"Nope," she answered. "I'm just going to hang out here. If you stay here than it looks like you're my boyfriend or something so people won't bother me."

"Thanks," Severus replied sarcastically.

"If you want to go find someone to dance with go ahead," Lily retorted.

"I don't really. If you really want to dance later, we can," Severus assured her. 

"Not for a while. Don't worry, I'll save the last dance for you if you save it for me." Severus smiled at the last comment. They two sat there for a while in silence. 

"Want a drink? Severus asked. 

"Sure, get me a shot of firewhiskey." Severus made his way to the bar leaving Lily alone to people watch.

James, Sirius, and Remus entered Triple U. It was one of their first times coming to this club or any at all. The three quickly scanned the room for girls to dance with. 

"Look at that beauty!" Sirius exclaimed as he saw a pretty girl. 

"Where?" Remus asked.

"Right there, sitting next to, I think that's Snape. The poor girl, she probably wants to get away from him." James looked to the girl that his friend was talking about. His jaw had a mind of it's own. Sirius had said an understatement when he had said she was a beauty. She was skinny and well endowed. **(Come on, he's a sixteen year old guy.)** Her legs seemed to go on forever. She was wearing a little black dress that was barely decent. It was obviously meant to show more skin than cover. Skin was very fair, as was the color of most redheads. Speaking of red hair, hers flowed down to the middle of her back in waves. She had a delicate face that radiated beauty. 

"I think I'm going to ask her to dance," Sirius said. 

"She is too good for you man," Remus told him honestly. "You're going to have trouble getting a girl like that."

"Let him try, he's gotten a lot of girls," James argued. Sirius hadn't heard a word they said as he was up asking the girl. After a few minutes, Sirius came back with a sore cheek. "What she say?"

"That she could to be with Snape and I should sod off," Sirius replied. "I like her."

"The girl refuses you and you like her?" Remus asked.

"I like a challenge," Sirius retorted. 

"That's a death wish. See? Snape is coming back to her table and he's shooting death glares at you," Remus reasoned.

"That's what makes her fun. If we all keep asking her, she's going to say yes to get us to stop," Sirius said.

"Fine, but a you know, I was against this," Remus said.

"Course," James replied. Through out the next hour, James and Sirius took turns asking her to dance. After having no luck, James, Sirius and Remus all went over together.

"Can you all leave me alone?" she asked them.

"Nope," Sirius answered. "Come on pretty girl, you know you want to dance."

"If I dance with one of you, will you all leave me alone?" she asked. Severus continued to glare daggers at the three Marauders.

"Yes malady, dance with any one of us and we'll all leave you alone," Sirius assured her smoothly.

"In that case I chose to dance with him," she said pointing to Remus. She got up and put her hands on his neck. Her awkwardly put his hands on her hips. He looked nervously at James and Sirius who had joined Severus at glaring daggers. It was a slow song which gave them a chance to talk.

"What's your name?" Remus asked.

"Elaina," Lily said, taking the first name off the top of her head. 

"Pretty name," Remus smiled.

"What's yours?"

"Remus," he replied.

"Unusual name. So why are all of you losers bugging me? Dancing with strangers isn't exactly my cup of tea," Lily asked.

"That's just Sirius and James for you. They think you're hot," Remus told her.

"Curious, that's the first time anyone has told me," Lily said nonchalantly. 

"Really?"

"Yes. Do you go to school near here?" 

"I go to Hogwarts, what about you?"

"I'm just visiting my cousin," Lily lied. 

"Who is that? Maybe I know him."

"Li Evans."

"Is he here?" 

"No, Severus and Lucius decided to meet me and Li would stay at school."

"Why?" Remus asked.

"To cover their arses in case there are any questions about where they were." Lily hoped he was buying this. She made a mental note to tell Severus and Lucius later.

"Good idea," Remus told her. "Well the song is over. It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well. Tell your friends to sod off."

Remus smiled. "Will do. Thank you for the dance." He walked back to his friends and Lily walked back to Severus.

"Was that appolutly necessary?" he asked as she sat down.

"Yes, now they will leave us alone. I told them my name is Elaina and if anyone asks, I, as in me as Li, never came down to the club."

"Ok, but don't count on them leaving us alone," he replied.

"I have an idea, follow my lead," Lily told him. She got up and sat down in his lap. She leaned in to nibble on his ear.

"What are you doing?" Severus whispered.

"Play acting. They won't mess with us if they think we're a couple. Come on, you're acting too stiff, pretend I'm that girl I caught you making out with last week," Lily whispered back. Severus moved her face so he could look in it. He leaned forward to take her mouth. At the same time her put one hand on her leg and the other began to caress her back. His mouth left hers and began to leave a trail of kisses all alone her jaw. "Good play acting," she said. Severus admitted to himself that he had enjoyed that very much and hadn't been just acting. "How about we dance? Break out the naughty moves. Let's see their faces." Lily stood up and pulled Severus to a standing position. 

They started to dance very closely. Lily turned around so they were touching. She proceeded to go slowly dance to the floor before coming up quickly. This continued for a few songs before a slow on came on. Lily put her hands around Severus' neck and cocked her head to the side. 

"Can you see them?" she asked quietly.

"No," he told her in a calm collected voice. In truth he was far from calm. Severus leaned down to kiss her neck so she could see over his shoulder.

"Ha, green faces all of them. Good work partner," Lily smiled. The song ended and Lucius came up to them. 

"Sorry," he apologized. "There was a girl who wouldn't leave me alone." He smiled wickedly. "I did see your act, very convincing you two. So what's the story?"

"I am Elaina, Li's cousin. He stayed at school so he could cover for you two. Those prats wouldn't leave us alone. A performance would be the only thing to get them to sod off," Lily grinned. "I better get back. Narcissa will kill me if I ruin her dress." The three quickly returned to the castle. Li said good night to the two and went up to her room.

"Don't even think about it," Lucius told Severus.

"Think about what?"

"Think about falling for her," Lucius told him. Severus stared at the ceiling, wondering how he had just screwed up his life. 

****

A/N I don't know why I wrote in the whole Lily/Severus thing. It won't be developed much unless people want it to be. Remember that they lived in the seventies, right after the women's movement and the sexual revolution. 


	7. Hell on Wheels in a Black Dress

Hell on Wheels in a Black Dress

****

A/N read the one at bottom, it's important. The title is a line from Matchbox 20's song Disease.

Severus had a lot of trouble falling asleep that night. Hell on wheels in a black dress kept appearing in front of him. He shouldn't be thinking this. Li would kill him. She had just been acting, she didn't mean anything by it, she hadn't meant for him to take it seriously, had she? Of course she hadn't.

She was Li. She was his friend who acted like a boy. She would send him flying for this if she found out, even if it had been any girl. She disliked romance. She didn't like him, did she? 

But the girl in the club hadn't been Li that was Lily. Was there a difference? No there wasn't, and yet, the way she acted. But Li had always been like that, trying to freak people out and trying to annoy them. She had been just acting. 

Severus tried to dismiss the feel of her skin and the way her hair had shined. He tried not to think about the softness of her lips and the warmth of her breath. But it was so damn hard. Just when he had told himself he wasn't going to think about her, that she was just Li, the girl in the black dress would pop back up. 

Lucius had told him not to fall for her, but it was too hard! It was too hard! What was he going to do? He couldn't ask her if she wanted to go out, the three of them had talked about it many times. Severus and Lucius had confessed a desire to one day have a family. Li had dismissed it all as being stupid.

'What was the point?' she had said. 'Why go through all the dating process when it's going to end in rejection? In the end it's just stupid.' No, she wouldn't go out with him. He should just give up. He should stop feeling this way and remember that she was his friend. Friend, what a stupid word. What did it mean anyway? Why did people always say they just wanted to be just friends? Why did he keep seeing her? Why wouldn't she leave him alone?

Up in the Griffindor Tower, a girl in a black dress was also haunting one James Potter. He kept seeing her over and over in his head. She was dancing, just like she had with Severus, except this time he was the one kissing her, he was the one with his hands on those gorgeous legs, he was the one touching her arse. 

Remus had told them her name was Elaina and she was visiting her cousin Li Evans. How did a guy like Evans get a hot girl like that for a cousin? An even more stumping question was how did Snape get her to be his girlfriend?

He could see the resemblance between Evans and Elaina. They both had the same noses and hair, though Elaina's had been longer. James had never taken the time to look at Evans' eyes, so he wouldn't know if they had the same green eyes. 

The second question was beyond James. The girl had been so gorgeous and Snape was so ugly. He was so greasy looking and he was stuck up. He didn't care about anything besides putting people down and his potions. Snape made the Marauder's lives miserable, so they made his miserable back. 

I have to think about something else, James told himself. Think about Remus; think about Remus with blond hair. Remus got to dace with her and I didn't! Ack no! Must not think about her! Think about Sirius in a dress that would be funny. Especially if it was like the one she was wearing tonight. She looked so hot. No! Can't think about her. 

James decided to think about bears, but unfortunately, that got him wondering whether she was the type of girl who liked stuffed bears. He tried to think about school, but he started wondering what school she went to. Everything he thought of ended up going back to the girl. He decided to give up and think about her. 

He wondered how he was going to ask Evans about her. That would be very hard. First he would have to admit he liked Evans' cousin to him. He would probably have to do something for him, then he could get the info. He also risked being killed. Snape, Malfoy and Evans would probably not like him trying to get information about Evans' cousin and apparently Snape's girlfriend. 

Yes, Snape would probably kill them anyway for even asking his girlfriend to dance. James remembered right after Remus and Elaina stopped dancing. She had said something to him before getting up and sitting in his lap. The two then had a major snog session right there in the middle of the club. Then they proceeded to do some moves on the dance floor that was what he couldn't get off his mind tonight.

James told himself he had a sick mind and wondered how long it would be until he fell asleep and wondered if he would be haunted even in his dreams. After he thought this, he fell asleep into a world with lots of alive stuffed bears dressed in Hogwarts uniforms. Halfway through his dream, when he realized how silly this was, SHE appeared next to him and started saying random facts about bears.

****

A/N it wasn't quite as long as I wanted or as good a chapter, but it will have to do. I apologize for this chapter, but I thought that Severus should both be up at night thinking of Lily. I will use various names for her as the character dictates. 

The Marauders will always call the person they know from school Li. They will continue to call the girl they met in the bar, Elaina and they know her as Li's cousin. 

Severus will probably cal her both Li and Lily since he is kinda at a confused stage where he is not sure whether he thinks of her as a crush or a friend and he's all confused. 

Lucius will call her Li 

The teachers will either call her Li or Evans. 

Just so everyone is clear on that. I want to make sure people are following. Pretend this is like the real Harry Potter in that you make up your own pronunciation of things, I pronounce it Li as in LEE, but you can pronounce it anyway. It really doesn't matter as long as it sounds like a boy's name. Also, I try not to make sure that when she talks about herself in the third person, she never says pronouns. So that way no one can say she deceived them cause she never comes out and says she's a boy. At least I think that's how I did it and if I didn't, that's how I do it from now on.


	8. Hangovers, Records and Blowing up Things

****

Is it going too fast? I sorry! (is not being sarcastic though it sounds like I am.) I was kinda modeling what's happening after what I've over heard from the people in my class, you miss a week of school, you miss everything. In fact, I never know what's going on so people are always like, "Remember the fight last week and the party last weekend? Who's house is this week's party going to be at?" Ok, I usually, make that never (I'm a social reject and proud of it,) so I don't know exactly what happens, but it's a lot so that's kinda what's happening. 

Oh yea, why Li thinks the way she does will be explained later, I think I want to keep you guessing for a while. (And giving me ideas, cause mine is a bit lame, though ok.)

Hangovers, Records and Blowing up Things

Li woke up on that morning to the annoying alarm, just like any other, except today she woke up with a really back headache. She groaned and looked at the clock. It read eight. She cursed at it.

She dragged herself out of bed. And started to get dressed. She took out her hated corset. Well, it wasn't a corset in that it made her skinnier, but it looked like one so that's what she called it. It bound her chest. It was really uncomfortable, but it was annoying to have to wear the girl's uniform, so she put up with it. She didn't wear it when she wasn't wearing her uniform, baggy shirts hid her chest. 

She finished the dressing process and staggered out into the hall. She went down six flights of stairs to the common room and then up six more to the boys' side. She knocked on the sixth year dorm door. 

"Get up! You're going to late for class!" she yelled at her friends through the door. 

"Go away! It's Saturday, there are no classes," a tired voice called back.

"What!?" Li beat her head against the door.

"Stop making such a racket, I have a headache," Lucius yelled.

"How much did you drink?"

"I lost count after the fourth bottle," he told her.

"I'm coming in and crashing," she announced.

"Just don't make so much noise." Li walked into the room. It was a disaster area in progress. If it was possible for something to be thrown across the floor, it was. Li walked to the nearest bed and plopped down.

"Hey! Watch it!" Severus moaned.

"I'm crashing, move over," Li told him.

"Why my bed?" 

"Cause it's the closest to the door," Li said. Severus picked up his pillow and moved to Goyle's empty bed. Li pondered why he had done this, usually he told her to get off before giving up. She shrugged, too tired to ponder.

Hangovers were the order of the day in the Griffindor dorm as well. At ten, three very tired, very grouchy boys pulled themselves out of bed. 

"Don't make so much noise," Sirius whispered.

"What did I do?" Peter asked.

"You're swallowing too loud, cut it out. And Remus, do you need to breathe so loudly?"

"You shouldn't be talking, you're speaking as if I'm on the other side of this blasted world," James complained. 

"Will you both shut up?" Remus asked.

"Want the hangover potion?" Peter inquired innocently.

"What? We had it all the time and you withheld it?" Sirius yelled.

"For goodness sake, don't yell," James scolded him. James scowled at Peter and the rat boy took out the bottle of potion. Each of the three hungover boys took a sleep.

"May whoever's up there bless this stuff," Sirius said.

"Amen," Remus agreed.

"Who's up for using those fireworks we bought last Hogsmeade trip?" Sirius asked. The other boys shrugged and made their way outside and toward the forest.

"Anyone got a lighter?" James asked.

"All I gots a zippo," Sirius told him.

"Perfect, over the summer, I perfected how to blow up one of these babies. You kinda unscrew the cap and do this," James demonstrated. The lighted started to give off steam. "The trick is not to hold your hands to close, I did that once, burned my hands." All of the other boys tried it out.

"So what are we doing with those fireworks?" Peter asked.

"Ever wonder what a blown up skunk cabbage looks like?" Sirius asked wickedly.

"Doesn't everyone?" Remus replied sarcastically.

"That's what I was thinking. Anyway, we put the firework into the middle, pointing down of course."

"Of course," James repeated.

"And then light the other side." Sirius stuck a firework into the nearest one and lit it. The boys moved back a few paces and waited. The skunk cabbage exploded. 

"That was smelly," Remus commented.

"Ok, it's been a year, so let's see if anything has changed," Sirius told them taking out a checklist.

"Do we have to do this?" Peter whined.

"It's the tenth of October, we always do this on the tenth of October," Sirius scolded him. "Ok, how many have you made it?"

"What?" Peter asked.

"Do we have to explain this every year?" James asked. "He means to which base and Sirius, it's really lame that you write all this down."

"So how far?" Sirius inquired.

"Second," Remus told them.

"Third," James said solemnly.

"What's first?" Peter asked.

"Kissing," James informed him.

"Then I've almost made it there," Peter said proudly. The others just shook their heads.

"Sirius?" James asked.

"I made it home last year," Sirius exclaimed.

"How many times?" 

"Just once," Sirius said. "So how many girls did you date last year and what was the longest?"

"Why can't you just record this during the year?" Remus asked.

"Cause it's better this way," Sirius replied.

"One, for one date," Peter said. Sirius wrote it down.

"Five," Remus told them. "The longest was Kim, six months."

"Mine is thirty, longest was with Penny Harold I believe her name was. It lasted for a month," James said.

"Mine was forty-two **(It's the answer! Sorry, Hitchhikers Guide moment,) **and the longest was with, with I forgot who. I think it was Iris Geller and we lasted two weeks," Sirius put in. "Peter, you now have a new record in everything. Remus, you have a new record for longest relationship. James, you beat your scores for both longest relationship and number of girls dated. You both maintained the record for how far you went. I beat my record for how far I got. We did good last year."

"We did well," Remus corrected him.

"That we did," Sirius agreed. James and Remus shook their heads. 

****

A/N Um, yea, Ok. Anyway, the last part is based on a conversation I over heard. The conversations of sixteen-year-old boys can't be TOO much different from that of fourteen year old ones. 


	9. Today is the Day

Today was the day. Today it was do or die. Today was life or death. Today was swim or sink. Today was more important than all proceeding days this year. Today was Quidditch. 

Some people say that Quidditch is a matter of life and death, to Li, it was much more important. Today was the first match of the year. The Slytherin team was playing Ravenclaw. Ok, so it wasn't an important game, the Ravenclaw team had horrible beaters. That's what happened to Ravenclaws. All of them were so damn skinny and frail, like they spent their lives indoors, which they probably did. 

"Nervous?" Lucius asked Li.

"Don't think so," Li replied. 

"You know what to do, distract the seeker long enough for the rest of us to get some glory," Lucius told her.

"If it were any other team," Li replied. "Ravenclaws are born flyers and the seeker is usually the best of all. If I'm going to get the bloody snitch, I have to get it fast."

"Come on, you haven lost the snitch since second year. That was your first year on the team and no, we don't blame that on you even though we lost the cup."

"We've lost the bloody cup every year if you remember."

"Yea, but there were reasons. Second year you underestimated the Ravenclaw seeker and he got it before you did. Third year Black shoved you off your broom and you got pulled out of the game for fighting. Fourth year there was that flu going around so there was no cup final. Last year you were in the hospital wing from that prank by the Marauders and we were forced to play with a replacement."

"I don't think I'll be able to get it this year."

"What you talking about? You always get the snitch," Lucius assured Li.

"But this year Harris isn't on the team. She was always looking out for me on the pitch making sure the bludgers were deflected. I don't trust the beaters this year."

"So dodge the bloody things," Lucius told her like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"You know how it is when I'm after the snitch, I hear the bloody things but I miss judge them and they always hit me. Harris understood this so she kept within the half field I was in so she could give me support."

"I don't know, it was a bit embarrassing having a girlie girl as our main beater," Lucius said making a face.

"I agree, it was degrading to see her come out wearing makeup, but you have to admit, she was a good beater."

"I got an idea. You have to catch the snitch, but you can't catch it within the first hour of the game so the rest of us can play. If you catch it before the first hour or the Ravenclaw seeker gets it, you have to go to the next Hogwarts ball as a girl," Lucius said wickedly.

"Hell no! I already did that once and there is no way I'm dressing like a bloody girl again. That was so embarrassing and I'm not doing that in front of the school!" Li protested.

"It's a sad day when a Slytherin is that chicken not to take a simple bet."

"What do I get if I win?" Li asked.

"Twenty gallons."

"Seventy-five."

"Twenty-five."

"Seventy."

"Fifty," Lucius said.

"Done," Li told him. "Get out your money cause I'm going to win this."

"Players to the field!" announced the commentator's voice.

"We're already on the bloody field!" Lucius shouted back.

"Well mount your brooms then!" the commentator yelled. The Griffindor commentator began to mutter things about 'bloody Slytherins,' under his breath. 

"I want a nice clean game!" the Quidditch instructor yelled. Flint and the Ravenclaw captain went to shake hands. The snitch was released and everyone went up into the air. The Quaffle was thrown in the air and the game started. Li rose in the air and debated the word Quaffle, it sounded like waffle. She tried to imagine Lucius playing Quidditch with a waffle, it was an amusing sight. 

Half an hour had pasted and no sign of the snitch, winning this was going to be easy, Li thought. Then a glint of gold caught her eye. She dived out of habit before remembering and going into an upward assent. The Ravenclaw seeker followed her. She went into another dive, this time away from the snitch.

"Has Evans seen the snitch?" the commentator asked. "Come on Jem! Catch up to him! You can get it before him! Everyone knows that make of broom isn't good for quick turns!"

That's what he thinks, Li laughed to herself. True her broom was a bit hard to handle, for anyone else. For her it was the smoothest and most responsive broom in the world. The golden glint had once again caught her eye, but this time the other seeker had seen it as well. She tried to get in front of him, but the Ravenclaw was very agile and just dodged her.

There was only one thing she could do to make sure he didn't get it, get it herself. She hoped an hour was up and raced the snitch. Five meters and the two seekers were neck to neck. Two, one, Li stretched out her hand and felt cold metal within her clasp. 

She went into a dive that she pulled out of a meter or two above the ground. She landed and held up the snitch.

"Slytherin wins," the commentator said moodily. "Evans has got the snitch with fifty-five minutes of the game opening." All the players landed. All the Slytherins clapped her on the back. They all went to the locker room to put away their brooms. 

"Guess what this means?" Lucius asked after the room had been cleared of people.

"Come on! I was five minutes away!"

"I'll give you ten gallons if it make you feel better, but you still going." Lucius made his way to the door. "I forgot to mention, you have to wear make-up, a dress, have your hair styled and you have to dance with James Potter." He pulled his face away from the doorway an out of sight. Good thing too, because Li had just fling the nearest thing in his direction, which was a practice bludger. 

****

A/N this isn' the good chapter I promised, but it's coming soon. I need James to fall for her more as a girl so it makes it better later. Oh, in the last chapter, I didn't mention every topic the boys in my grade said, maybe I'll include that later. Is this chapter ok? Sorry if it's nother bad chapter.


	10. Day of Hell, Beauty is Suffering

Day of Hell/Beauty is Suffering

"Come on Li!" Lucius shouted. He banged on the door to her room. 

"No! No! I refuse to go! Just because I have to show up at the stupid dance as a girl does not mean I have to go shopping! That's worse! Please! Go without me, Narcissa will end up picking out what I wear anyway!" Li pleaded.

"Don't be such a baby. For someone who can make seventeen wizards go flying at once and set the record for fastest catch of a snitch, you are really pathetic."

"I'll make sure to tell everyone you said that when I'm famous."

"Don't be daft, you're going to be an undercover spy and you know it. Besides, I have some rather embarrassing pictures of you!"

"You do not!" Li opened the door. Indeed he did have rather embarrassing pictures. The first had been taken when she had been in second year. It showed young Lily wearing a bikini. 

"Where did you get that picture?" she cried.

"It dropped from you photo album. You should really be more careful with that thing," Lucius playfully scolded her. 

"Give the pictures," Li said dangerously.

"Why should I?"

"Just give me the pictures," Li demanded.

"Fine," he said, handing them over. "I have copies of all of them. Besides, you're going to be late for your facial."

"My what?!" she screamed.

"You're facial. You're getting your hair, nails and makeup done." Lucius smiled maliciously. 

"Hell no! I'm not going!" 

"Come on Li, a bet's a bet. Do you want to back out?" 

"Fine, I'll go, but you or anyone breathe a word about this, then you are dead."

"I don't doubt it for a minute." He took Li by the arm and led her to the common room so she could be guided on her day of shopping hell. 

"Have a good day," he told them. Narcissa led Li outside and toward Hogsmeade.

"So first of all, we have to lose the hair," Narcissa told her.

"What's wrong with my hair?" Li asked.

"You're going to lose the whole, 'I wash my hair with grease and cut it myself look.' It really isn't for you." 

"I happen to like my hair and I don't cut it myself."

"Right," Narcissa said sarcastically. "Ok, we're going to get you some normal girl's clothes first so you can walk around. What self respecting boy gets a facial?"

"That's my question."

"You have some serious issues, I hope you know that. Oh well, it's not my job to sort you out."

"I'll give you ten gallons if you let me out of this," Li pleaded.

"Sorry LILY darling, I have a deal with dear Lucius. So let's get you some new clothes. We'll get clothes for today and you're dress robes."

"Why oh why did Dumbledore have to announce a surprise ball?" Li moaned. "I don't like bloody balls."

"At least you won't be alone in your misery, doesn't Severus hate them as well? And what is up with him? He's been all strange for the past month hasn't he?"

"I know what you mean. Every time I try to talk to him he finds somewhere else to be. Like he's avoiding me. Strange, I thought we were better mates then to keep secrets."

"Ah, we can get some regular clothes for you here." Narcissa dragged Li into a shop where she chose Li a pink tank top and a Jean skirt. "Only those bloody muggle girls where pants when they aren't wearing robes," Narcissa commented. "So what would you like me to call you. I assume you don't want to be called Li to save your reputation."

"Call me Elaina, that's who I will be posing as. I am Li's cousin."

"Whatever floats your boat hun." Narcissa then brought Li to a dress robes store. "So we need something that's stylish. Since this will probably be one of the few dresses you will wear in public during your lifetime, it might as well be stylish." They bought something that really didn't qualify much as a robe.

"Do I have to wear that?" Li asked.

"Yes, you have to wear this to the ball."

"When is the bloody thing anyway?"

"Don't be daft, you know tonight is Halloween. Just last week, after the game, Dumbledore announced there was going to be a ball tonight. Come on then, this way. We're almost late for your facial."

"You getting one as well?" Li asked.

"Course, have to look my best," Narcissa told her. The two girls went into Helga's beauty salon. They were put into chairs-the attendants weren't happy when Li tried to run away-and gloop was applied to their faces. 

"It's cold!" Li yelled.

"Beauty is suffering."

"I don't want beauty."

"Oh shut up." Next tea bags were brought out. Li thought the attendants were nice and going to give them a cup of tea. The tea bags were put on their eyes. 

"What is the point of all this?" Li asked.

"I have no clue, but it makes your skin look nicer." The whole facial was finished up with a mask.

"Now on to hair and nails," Narcissa announced. Li groaned. She was forced to sit in yet another chair while her hair was cut and styled. She couldn't even read during this annoying process. After enduring this for a while, her hair was put in curlers and set to dry. The nail person came over and grabbed Li's hand. She tried to pull her hand away, but this woman must have been a champion Olympic track and fielder in her past life so Li's hand stayed in her grip.

"Come on Elaina. Just let the ladies do your nails, the worst part is over," Narcissa assured her.

"Does this ruddy stuff come off?" Li asked. The attendant was painting her toenails a vibrant shade of purple to match her dress.

"Of course it does. Just buy some nail polish remover. It does dry out your nails though," Narcissa told her. Their nails done, the two girls' hair was taken out of the curlers.

"Can we go yet? I hope no one recognizes me," Li said.

"We have to have makeup put on and besides, you look totally different." Li looked in the mirror and was afraid, she was very afraid. 

"I can't even bloody scowl with this bleeding hair do. It looks like I strained something when I try," Li complained.

"Suck it up. We're almost done."

"That's what you told me a while ago."

"Stop complaining. You would think you were being tortured." The two girls were once again put in chairs and Li was held down while makeup was applied to her face.

"There, beautiful. Now we can go." Narcissa assured her. Li let out a sigh of relief. Then she realized this ordeal was half over and she would still have to attend the ball. 

****

Wrote this a while ago and wasn't sure if I was going to put it up. Also, can people please check out my other story, James Potter and the Tales of Three Sisters? I need some feedback on that one. 


	11. Save the Last Dance

"Severus?" Li asked. 

"What?" he answered. He was standing outside her door. Lucius needed someone on guard duty to make sure she didn't run away.

"Are we still pretending to be girlfriend and boyfriend?"

"What?"

"Remember we tricked them into thinking we were together? Are we going to continue that or let it drop? I think we'll have to pretend. I'm really sorry about this. When I get my hands on Lucius I'm going to kill him. If it wasn't for this stupid bet I wouldn't go at all," Li complained.

"I agree, we'll have to continue pretending." 

"Thanks, I owe you. Can you help me beat up Lucius when this is over?"

"Sure," Severus replied. "Would be my pleasure."

"Thanks. I'm coming out and you aren't allowed to laugh. Narcissa made me dress this way!" Li told him. She opened the door and his jaw dropped. "I looked horrible!"

"You look like a girl," Severus told her.

"I am one," Li snapped. "Remember, my name is Elaina.

"Can I have the privilege of escorting you to the ball?" Severus asked gallantly.

"Yes of course," Li replied. The two made their way down the stairs. They heard many whispers of 'Who is that girl?' and 'Severus is so lucky!'

"Ready to go?" Lucius snickered.

"You bloody…" Li started.

"Lily my dear, women don't swear," Lucius scolded Li.

"I'm going to cut that bloody tongue out of your mouth," Li threatened.

"You probably will. Come on let's go to the ball. We're going to say Li refused to come, right?" Lucius asked.

"Yes and call me Elaina. I'm Li's cousin. Severus and I have to pretend we're going out cause those stupid Giffies saw us when we were trying to fool in the club." 

"Of course Elaina," Severus told her. The three headed to the Great Hall, Li on Severus' arm. The three made their way to a Slytherin table. Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled at Li.

"This is undignified," Li muttered as she sat down. 

"Don't forget you'll have to dance later," Lucius reminded her. 

"Hello everyone and welcome to the Halloween ball. I'm very sorry about the short notice about it but everyone looks splendid nevertheless," Dumbledore announced. "So without further ado, the prefects will open our dance. Please find your partners." Li found herself being pulled to her feet.

"Sod off," she told Severus.

"I have to dance and you're supposed to be my girlfriend. Logic dictates that you dance," Severus informed her. Li sighed and stood up. Severus took her in his arms. The other couples came onto the dance floor and the group the Fried Frogs started to sing. Li and Severus swayed to the music. The song seemed to go on forever, agonizingly long. 

"Can we stop now?" Li complained. "I feel stupid, everyone is looking at me. They think I'm a girl."

"In the words you said earlier, you are a girl."

"I know, but I don't like people thinking that, it's embarrassing," Li groaned.

"Whatever you say,"

"Something's been up lately with you. What the bloody hell is it?" Li asked. She kept her voice down so none of the other prefects or their dates could hear her.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just worried about school lately."

"Why? You've never been before. We're sixth year, worry about stuff next year and that's not what's been up."

"That is what's up."

"No it's not. You don't act funny around anyone except me so what is the bloody problem?"

"Since you seem to know so much why don't you tell me?" Severus shouted. Everyone paused to look at them. Li gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Everyone brushed off the incident as a relationship problem and went back to dancing.

"Look man, it's your deal, tell me or don't tell me but don't go acting like I'm the plague. So we cool?" Li asked.

"We're cool," Severus assured her.

"Good," Li confirmed. They danced for another minute before the song ended. "The bloody song is over, let's sit down." The two headed for the table where Lucius was sitting.

"You guys looked so cute out there, maybe you really should go out," Lucius chuckled evilly. 

"If you make any more cracks I will force feed you your balls," Li threatened. Lucius just smiled and got up to dance with his date.

"Want to dance?" a voice asked from behind Li. She stared into her cup. This is not happening, this is not happening, she repeated silently to herself. "Should I ask your boyfriend?" Li turned around. She smiled apologetically at Severus.

"He can spare me for one dance," Li said coolly. She turned around and faced James Potter. She stood slowly, resigned to the fate Lucius had forced her into. Though she could not see it, Dumbledore's eyes twinkled from the front of the room. He took a sip from his glass of pumpkin juice; things were about to get very interesting. 

He couldn't believe she had said yes. He couldn't believe she was dancing with him now. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was. Her hair had been straightened and highlighted. It had also been cut. Her 'robes' were a shade of light purple. For some reason it fit really well. Her neckline was plunging very far. The dress was cut gracefully accenting her curves. The dress ended right before her knees. She was dressed to kill. She radiated attention. The aurora about her said, Look at me.

He looked down at her. She was looking away. It was obvious she didn't want to be here. She looked up and smiled quickly. The song quickly ended and James led his partner back to her table. It was empty except for several bowls of ice cream. She quickly took one of the bowls and brought a spoonful up to her mouth, she smiled to herself.

"Have some ice cream," she offered. "It's really good." James took a seat by the girl and picked up a bowel. He too smiled after he tasted his ice cream.

"Fish food," he said. "How did they know it was my favorite?"

"Mine is cookie dough," she commented. She quickly lapped up her ice cream. She brought the last bite to her mouth. Instead of putting the spoon in the bowl, she kept it in her mouth.

"You can probably get more," James told her after she sat like that for a minute. 

"It's not that, I always savor the last bit of ice cream. I pretend there is more ice cream on the spoon than there really is. I'm not willing to admit there is no more," she replied absentmindedly. 

"Why don't you just get more ice cream?" James asked.

"Don't know, never have, probably would be the sensible thing to do." She sat there, lost in thought, for a little while longer with the spoon in her mouth while James finished his ice cream. 

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Life in general. You know, why we're here? What's the purpose? What I'm going to do with my life," she answered.

"How's the last one going?" 

"Limited. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my life, I'm really not that good at anything."

"There's got to be something you like to do," James insisted.

"I guess Quidditch, I would like to play Quidditch professionally. But girls can't play Quidditch, I heard from Li that's it's hard for them just to get on the hose teams."

"What position do you play?" James asked.

"I'm a seeker," she said.

"I bet you could beat out Li. He's pretty good for a Slytherin, but it's probably just the broom," James said. She glared at him.

"Do you even know what kind of broom he rides? It's a Cleansweep 3. "

"Those are really good brooms but known for being temperamental," James recited. "He really rides one of those?" she nodded.

"Elaina," Severus said coming over.

"It's been nice talking to you," James told her. He got up and left.

"You only had to dance with him!" Severus scolded her. "You weren't supposed to have him at the table. You didn't ask me."

"Sorry Dad, didn't know I had to check in. What's your problem? I thought we were cool? I was being polite. He brought me to the table and no one was here. There was ice cream so I offered him a bowl, what's wrong with that?"

"Just know who your friends are," Severus warned her.

"Look, I don't like Potter or nothing, I was being polite. What was I supposed to do? Tell him to bugger off?"

"I was just worried," Severus told her.

"That's really sweet and all, but just because I'm wearing a skirt doesn't mean I need protection."

"Just look out for him."

"Thanks man. I know you're just looking out for me. I just don't like being treated like I'm weak or something," Li explained.

"You will never be weak," Severus assured her. Li smiled. 

"It's time for our last number!" the band called from their spot in the room. "We're going to play a slow one for you."

"Want to dance?" Severus asked.

"Sure, I'll always save you the last dance," Li replied.

__

Oh I know that the music's fine 

Like sparklin' wine,

Go and have your fun 

Laugh and sing,

But while we're apart 

Don't give your heart to anyone 

But don't forget who's takin' you home 

And in whose arms you're gonna be 

So darlin' save the last dance for me 

  
  


****

A/N sorry I took so long to get this out. It's 3 pages long! GO ME! I'm trying to make it so Severus is jealous and Li thinks he's just looking out for her as a friend. Whether you want to count the lyrics as what they're dancing to or not is up to you, it makes no difference what so ever. I just love that song. 


	12. Speculations

**A/N I have to put some kind of nonsense chapters in every once in a while so you guys get a break from the plot. This is based on a conversation I often have with my friends. The first part was a modified conversation between Nana, Ruth, Amy and myself. The second part was a modified conversation between the same people plus Stella, Yayoi and Lindsay. Please skip to the second part of this chapter if you are offended by questioning God and heaven. **

Oh, I'm probably writing the guys all wrong, please forgive me, I have no idea how the mind of a guy works.

"Is everyone happy in heaven?" Severus asked one day as the three friends were lying on the Hogwarts lawn staring at the stars.

"Yes," Lucius replied.

"It's not possible for everyone to be perfectly happy at once," Li protested.

"Why not?" Lucius asked.

"Well for one, let's say I wanted no ham in heaven, but you wanted to eat ham everyday, it just wouldn't work," Li told him. 

"I don't want jelly fish in heaven," Severus announced.

"But wouldn't the jelly fish be unhappy if they couldn't be in heaven?" Li asked. Severus nodded. "I want it to rain everyday in heaven."

"Then you must be in heaven here cause it rains so much. I want sun," Lucius said.

"I want it to be cloudy, I don't like light," Severus commented.

"And is there muggle things or wizard things in heaven? My sister wouldn't be happy if there were wizards in heaven," Li said.

"I wouldn't be happy if the place was populated by muggles," Lucius said.

"But there can't be a separate heaven cause where would those who are both go?" Li asked.

"Is there even a heaven?" Severus questioned.

"Well there can't be nothing, what would the point of living be?" 

"No clue, but there's got to be something," Lucius speculated.

"Is there a God?" Severus asked.

"Course there is," Lucius answered.

"How do you know?" Li questioned. "Do you have proof?"

"I'm alive aren't I?"

"How do you know its God? Why can't it be a Goddess or a hell of a lot of Gods? Why just one?" Li asked.

"It says so in the Bible," Lucius replied.

"Doesn't it also have two stories about the creation?"

"They're not stories, they're real."

"How do you know they're real?"

"Because it's the Bible, it was written by God."

"Then why did God destroy the tower of Bable? Why did He put all that stuff on Job just because of a silly bet with the devil? Why did Noah get drunk after the flood? Why was Lilith thrown out of Heaven for wanting to be equal to Adam? Why did God not want Adam and Eve to eat from the tree of knowledge? Isn't enlightenment good?" Li questioned.

"Can we change the subject?" Lucius asked.

"What are you going to do when you're out of Hogwarts?" Severus asked.

"Join the Dark Lord," Lucius replied.

"I'm going to try to get into Triple U," Severus told them.

"That's a really good school," Li put in. Wizard University, (WU, Triple U) was known for turning out the majority of previous Ministers of Magic.

"What are you going to do?" Lucius asked.

"I dunno, I've been thinking a lot about it lately, I'm really not sure. Maybe I'll try to play Quidditch professionally," Li speculated.

"But girls can't play Quidditch, there's never been a girl on one of the Minor league teams nor the Major," Lucius protested.

"Why can't I try? And who says I have to tell them I'm a girl? No one here guesses," Li argued.

"Yes but that's different. Anyway, it's your life. Here's one, describe the type of person you want to marry," Lucius suggested. 

"You go first," Severus said.

"Sure. She's got to have blond hair and blue eyes. She can't be fat though a little meat on her wouldn't hurt. She has to have nice eyebrows. She can't have a big nose. She can't have any flab. She has to have a large chest. She can't be taller than I. Her hair has to be straight. She has to have nice hands. She has to from a good family and is Christian. She has to be a talented musician and her grades have to be at least B+. She has to be English. She has to be able to cook and she has to be pureblood though that is implied," Lucius said.

"Of course," Li remarked.

"She has to do what I want her to and she has to understand her place. She has to be able to entertain and has to be a Slytherin," Lucius finished.

"That's sad," Li told him. "You shouldn't even bother. We all know you're going to marry whoever you snogged last."

"That was Narcissa if I'm not mistaken and I'm sure as hell not marrying her."

"It sounds like you just described her. Anyway, Narcissa isn't so bad a person," Li argued. 

"Severus? You're turn," Lucius told him.

"I don't care what she looks like but I just don't want her to be fat. She has to be smart and wise. She has to be interested in the things I am and I want to be able to talk to her. I want her to be understanding. It would help if she were a Slytherin. That's it," Severus said.

"You Li?" Lucius asked.

"That's simple. I'm not going to marry," Li told them.

"Why not?" Severus asked.

"Life is too short to be tie down to anyone person and besides isn't it a bit disgusting the whole dating thing? When it comes to girls, guys are pigs, no offense," Li added.

"None taken," Lucius chuckled. "I'm a self admitted player."

"Good to know. You guys are all right when it comes to being mates and all, but when it comes to girls you are sickening. I mean just because I was wearing a dress at that ball, all the guys were drooling and hitting on me. It was disgusting. Who wants to deal with that? Besides, I want to go places. I'm not going to be someone's house wife who gets told what to do," Li explained.

"You wouldn't let someone do that, you'd dominate them. Sometimes I forget you're not a guy," Lucius told her. Li smiled.

"So what do you guys see me doing in twenty years?" she asked.

"You're going to be the seeker for the Cannons," Severus told her.

"I see you teaching here at Hogwarts as the Charms professor. Or maybe you'll be the next groundskeeper," Lucius chuckled.

"What about me?" Severus asked.

"Potions teacher at Hogwarts," Lucius and Li said together.

"No way! I don't want to be stuck here!" Severus protested.

"You have to, I don't any other two people to teach my son Charms and Potions. Slytherin House will depend on you to take points away from the Griffies," Lucius told him. 

"So that's my fate? To be the potions professor?" Severus asked defeatedly.

"How about keeper of Askaban?" Li chuckled. "Lucius, you're probably going to be Minister of Magic. If you aren't I'll kill you."

"Why is that?"

"So you can overthrow the stupid law that says girls can't play Quidditch," Li informed him.

"Fine, I will be Minister of Magic just for you," Lucius said like he was going be Minister just for her.

"So how do you know you're going to have a son?" Severus asked.

"He has to be a boy so he can play with your son," Lucius told Severus.

"How come you both get a son and I don't?" Li asked.

"You aren't getting married, remember? You can't have a son if the son doesn't have a father. It's your fate to teach both of our children," Lucius reminded her.

"Right. So what are your son's name since you have this all planned out?" Li asked.

"Dunno, It's got to be something unusual. You know what good is a name if you can't complain about it? But it's got to be something powerful," Lucius said.

"How about Draco?" Li suggested. "It means dragon so it suggests power and the kid will hate it cause it can be made fun of so easily."

"You're a genius," Lucius told her. "My son shall be named Draco!"

"What about your son?" Li asked Severus. "What's his name?"

"I don't know. I want it to be something simple. I have horrible name and unlike Lucius I don't want my kid to suffer. Maybe Harry?" Severus said.

"How boring," Lucius told him.

"Harry Snape?" Li said. "It's a good name but it sounds a bit silly. I get to be Godmother, right?"

"Course," Lucius and Severus replied. The three friends stayed silent for a minute, thinking about their futures, not knowing that some of their predictions would be true, just not for the right person. 


	13. The Assignment

****

I know how I'm going to end it; I'm just not sure what should happen between now and then. I just got the OOTP and what I have read so far suggests no evidence to change this story. If anyone wants me to change it to fit the new info, please tell me the page the new info is found on and I'll change it. I would prefer not to have to change it, but if I must I must. There are little spoilers from what I've read so far. (I'm on chapter 13 right now. It's going slow because my sis insists we read it together so we don't fight over it.)

"Dumbledore has decided that the Griffindors and the Slytherins need to work together," Professor Geller, head of Slytherin and runes professor, announced one morning. It wasn't a good morning seeing how it was a Monday and few people find Mondays good. Also it was the Monday right after the holiday break and none of the students had their minds on class. 

"Why?" Lucius asked. 

"My question exactly, but it has been decided. I am against this, but seeing how I have no choice in the matter, you will all have to write a paper on the history of Runes. You have to come up with a theory for why Runes work the way the do and if there is a way to improve them. You must do this all with the partner that I am assigning you to," the Professor explained. 

"How long does the paper have to be?" Severus asked.

"A hundred centimeters," the Professor answered. "Now, let's get some work done and I'll assign partners at the end of class. I'm passing out a pop quiz on the rune signs you were supposed to learn yesterday for homework." Groans erupted from the back of the room. Li turned around to see who it was.

Li was not surprised to see that it was the Marauders. You could never expect them to study. Not that Li studied. School came easy for her. All she had to do was throw her set around and look up the meanings a couple of times to know what the different stones meant. 

The quiz was pretty easy though by looking around Li could tell others didn't think so. She had finished early so she took out her book of Latin. Most people thought learning the language of Latin was silly, they would learn the words when they came up in spells. Li thought otherwise. She spent most of her "study time" learning the ancient language. 

"Idiots," Severus commented. Li turned around to see the Marauders laughing their heads off at some random thing. Li shook her head.

"As you all seem to be done and have time to play pranks," Professor Geller said while cleaning up the latest prank, "I will collect your tests and assign you partners." A groan was let out over the classroom, as most people weren't finished.

"The partners will be the following. Lucius Malfoy and Sirius Black. Tamara Kenson and William Scott. Peter Pettigrew and Eric Felix. Severus Snape and Frank Longbottem. James Potter and Jillian Harris. Li Evans and Remus Lupin," **(You all expected her to be with James didn't you?)** the Professor announced. Another groan sounded throughout the room. "Please contact your partner for work times." Remus walked over to Li.

"So what time's good for you?" he asked.

"No time. I'll do it and you can sign your name. Then we won't have to work together," Li informed him.

"I expect to do half the work," Remus told her.

"Just let me do it, I don't want to have to associate with you."

"No, I want to do the work."

"Fine, how's Thursday after last period?"

"It works for me."

"Fine," Li snarled. The bell rang so she picked up her books and joined up with her friends.

"Can you believe that? I have to work with Black!" Lucius cried. 

"I have Longbottem, what an idiot," Severus complained. "He'll end up ruining all of my research. It's not enough that he works next to me in potions and knocks over my cauldron, he now has to mess with my Runes' grade."

"I have Lupin. I told him I'd just do the whole thing myself but he insisted on doing equal share of the work," Li grumbled. 

"Lupin isn't as bad as Black," Lucius argued. "Yeah, his family is good but he's messed up. I heard he was taken off their family tree." Li and Severus winced, that was one of the worst things a family could do to one of its members.

"I guess we'll just have to grit our teeth and endure it," Li said. "Nothing else to do."

"I knew Dumbledore was in the head," Lucius muttered. 

****

A/N sorry it too me so long to get this out. Thanks to all my reviewers. 


	14. Working on the Assignment

The door to the library opened with a little squeak and in walked Malory Handover. Malory Handover was your typical first year Hufflepuff. She was a cheerful young girl with a smile on her face and a spring in her step. She sunshine blond hair was back in two braids that her older sister had put in for her that morning. She skipped happily into the apparently deserted room not noticing the other occupant. She had just been assigned a History of Magic assignment and wanted to get the needed book before anyone else could take it. She did a sort of hop down the isle to toward the book she needed all the while humming a little tune to herself. 

"STOP THE IMFERNAL HUMMING!" a loud annoyed voice yelled at her. Malory jumped in surprise and looked around. There she saw someone. It was a boy with bright red hair in Slytherin robes. This must be one of the people her older sister had warned her to avoid. Malory ran behind a bookshelf but she could still feel the glare of the Slytherin boy. She cowered slightly. 

"I'm sorry," Malory squeaked. 

"Fifteen points from Hufflepuff for being cheerful and for causing a racket in the library," the boy snapped. Malory was taken aback. She may be guilty of being cheerful but she thought Hogwarts students were supposed to be cheerful and pleasant. She also had not been making much noise and the library was deserted except for the boy. 

"I just had to get a book," Malory whimpered.

"GET IT AND GO!" the boy shouted at her. Malory quickly grabbed a random book not even caring if it was the right one. She signed it out quickly and ran out of the room. 

"First years," Li muttered as the little girl in Hufflepuff robes ran out of the room. Li kicked the table she was standing next to. "Stupid Hufflepuffs always so damned cheerful." She kicked the table again. "Stupid Griffindors having the nerve to be late." She kicked the table. Her foot was a bit soar since she had kicked the table rather hard three times, but she kicked one more time just for good measure. Thankfully Madam Pince, the librarian, was in another part of the vast room so she would just pass off the sound as some kid dropping a book. 

Li cursed Griffindors a few more times before folding her arms across her chest and starting to tap her foot. Lupin was late but what else could she expect from one of Potter's lackeys. They can't be on time like a courteous person, no, just not allowed to do that. They had to make the whole world wait for them, stupid prats. Pains in the arse. 

The door opened once again and the golden haired Griffindor entered. 

"Sorry I'm late," he said. Li just glared at him. "We had to clean up a potion gone wrong." He looked at her. "Well anyway, shall we get started?"

"I have here all the library's books on Ancient runes and how they work. When you come across something interesting write it down, don't talk to me unless it's absolutely necessary," Li instructed him. 

Remus was a little put out by this attitude. While most people saw him as a rather quiet and solitary person, he was actually quite friendly and talkative and he hated silences. Remus looked up at Evans. He was bent over in concentration and he didn't even notice that his long hair had fallen into his face. 

"What's so interesting Lupin?" Evans snapped. 

"Nothing, just thinking that you look very similar to your cousin," Remus shrugged. It was true; Evans did bear an uncanny resemblance to his cousin. 

"Stay away from her," Evans ordered. 

"Just making a comment. Just out of curiosity, where does she go to school? I never see her around here," Remus commented.

"Stay away from her, I don't want her hanging around with the likes of you," Evans commanded.

"Sorry," Remus shrugged. The two worked in silence for a while. 

"Are you done with you researching?" Evans asked. Remus looked at the pile of books next to him. He had only gotten through one and had only one page of notes. Evans let out an exasperated sigh. "It's a lot easier if you use Quick Quotes."

"I thought that embelished what you write."

"I made up another version of it that takes down simply the bear minimum and only if it's relevant to the said topic." Remus looked at Evans with a confused expression on his face. "Give me your quill." Remus handed over his quill. Evans took out his wand and waved it over the quill and said the Quick quotes spell. He then added something in Latin and then specified 'History of Runes' and 'Theory' Evans set the quill down on a blank of paper and the quill divided the paper in two with a straight line. It labeled one history of Runes and the theory. It made a bullet under each before lying on the paper, ready to take notes. 

"Wicked!" Remus couldn't help saying.

"I'm glad you approve. You do have to remember to turn the page though. I'm going to go do my homework. Would you like to meet next week to start writing a draft?"

"Next Thursday after last period?" Remus asked. Evans nodded.

"And do try to be on time," Li reminded him.

"Otherwise the dead bodies of the poor students will clutter the hall?" Remus joked. Evans let out a small short chuckle before nodding. He gathered up his books and papers leaving Remus alone in the library. There was something strange about Li Evans. 

****

Spur of the moment chapter. I know I told you I wasn't going to write until August, but I came home for the weekend and my evil muse made me write this very poorly written chapter. Seriously, my invisible muse said she was going to keep singing the Barney song if I didn't write something and it's really hard to write while the muse sings whenever you stop to check on your laundry. I haven't even been allowed to pack because she keeps singing that stupid song. 

Oh, I can now type without looking at the keyboard. I'm so proud of myself. Aren't you? I'm mad cool.


	15. Family Ties

****

Family Ties

You know, I'm just not feeling the inspiration or excitement for this story anymore. I will continue to write it, but unless I'm hit with a whole lot of inspo, it's not going to be very good. Know where I'm going, just not sure how to get there. I just can't make myself REALLY want to write this one anymore. I'm being noncommittal right now and can't stick to anything. Oh well, here's an idea that's been sitting in my head for a while but has been reluctant to come out. 

Oh BTW, This story is OOTP friendly, I will be rewriting Snape's Worst Memory because that's the only thing it doesn't fit with. OK? No suing allowed, I have no money and I need when I have.

It was an ordinary Sunday afternoon. It was a time that has often been refereed to as the long dark tea time of the soul. It's a time at about three of four when you've taken all the baths humanly possible to take in one day and you go into a period of reflection. A LDTTOTS spent with the Marauders is often spent in the Griffindor common room with the four each claiming a couch which could have fit five first years who were sitting on the floor glaring at the Marauders because of their lack of chair space. 

"I'm bored!" Sirius moaned.

"That would be the twenty-sixth time he's told us that in the past hour," Remus commented looking at his watch. 

"What could we do?" asked James.

"We could play a prank of the Slytherins," suggested Peter.

"That's getting old," James complained. "It's just not the same anymore."

"Since you started liking the cousin of one," Sirius teased him.

"Oh sod off!" James snapped.

"We could do homework," Remus put in.

"What's the fun in that?" Sirius asked. "We're meant to put it off to the last minute, it's the weekend."

"How is that Runes project coming along for everyone?" James asked. 

"No comment," Siirus said.

"Not well," Peter put in.

"We're doing ok, I think my partner is annoyed at me for getting very little done," Remus explained. 

"My partner likes to spend more time looking at me than the book and it's rather annoying. I also have an advanced transfiguration project with that cousin of yours," James told them. He looked at Sirius when he said that last part.

"It's not my fault! And you can't even say that cousin of mine, I would have to ask you about which one. I've got a whole lot," Sirius informed them. "You mean Narcissa right? She's the perfect little Black. Not at all in danger of being disowned. She's too much like her sister Bellatrix. All dark and whatever. Their older sister Andromeda was nice, you remember her?" 

The Marauders had been first years during Andromenda's last year at Hogwarts. She had very friendly to her little cousin and his friends and had helped cover up a few of his pranks. She had been happy there was another Black who wasn't a Slytherin. 

"She was taken off the tree and she's married and has a daughter now."

"You have too many cousins," Peter informed Sirius. 

"Let's conduct a little survey shall we? There are let's say twenty people in the common room right now. Let's see how many are related to me," Sirius said. He stood up in his chair and addressed the crowd. "Excuse me! May I have your attention. I would like you to raise your hand if you are descendant from the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Meaning if your great, great, great, great, great, grandmother or such was a Black." Nine hands went up including James' and Remus'. Sirius nodded knowingly. "I have another question. How many of you are still on the tree? Meaning one of your ancestors has not had theirs burned off and therefore yours is still on?" Everyone put down his or her hand except one person. 

"Ah! Jannie! Yes, you're still on, haven't seem you in a while. What's up?" Sirius asked switching directions.

"I'm ok, but my grandmum says I'm going to be burned off the family tree soon for being a Griffindor," said the third year.

"I'm in the same boat only it's my mum doing the threatening," Sirius replied. Jannie went off to do her homework and Sirius turned back to his friends.

"You see? Seven out of twenty, not counting us, are related to me. Then if you add us in, you have twenty four people, ten are related to the Blacks, counting myself."

"When did you get so good at math?" Remus asked. Sirius went to slug him with a pillow and the four went back to their long dark tea time of the soul.


	16. The Moonlight Sonata

****

I'm still lacking on insto inspo, but someone is supposed to e-mail me back and help me out so I'm hoping that's happening. 

Oh, I'm some angst into the story later cause it needs some and I'm in that kinda funk right now and need to write something truly angsty, it might not be right now, but it will come. 

"Come on Li!" Lucius hissed. "We'll never get away with this is you don't hurry up!" Li scowled in true fashion and stalked off down the hall after Severus and Lucius. They had just come back from Hogsmeade because the three of them were planning a private party, meaning they got enough fire-whisky to get even a hippogriff, who as a species were very resistant to the effects of alcohol, tipsy and were trying to sneak it into school. They had a test tomorrow, which Severus had just remembered after they had bought the drinks that you couldn't get a refund on, so they were simply stocking up for future times. 

The school was silent. It was one of those rare times when you could hear your foot fall on the ground and make a thud sound which you didn't usually hear since the halls were usually pack with noise and hustle and bustle even when there was class in process. 

They had come by broom and landed in the astronomy tower They were somewhere on the seventh floor, making their way down to the dungeons. 

"Are there students out of bed?" the voice of Filch asked nastily. 

"Run," Lucius mouthed. The three of them split in different directions. Lucius took a back passageway. It was a rather uncomfortable one to use when going down. When one entered it from upstairs like he was doing, it turned into a long twirly slide that usually made even those of strong stomach hurl. Severus went down the official way, simply taking the less used stairs. Li, however, stayed on the seventh floor. There was a passage they often used somewhere around here. She passed a picture of someone clubbing a troll.

"I know you're hiding around here," Filch said from around the corner.

'I wish I had somewhere to hide,' Li thought. The portrait of the person clubbing the troll opened and Li scurried inside.

The room she entered was empty except for a piano in the middle of the room. The only elimination came from a candelabra standing on the piano. The person playing the piano had not stopped, their face was hidden behind the upraised top of the piano. She stood there for a while, trying to place where she had heard this haunting melody before. She had placed that it was muggles call classical before the playing stopped abruptly.

"Who's there?" asked an anxious voice. Li stepped around the piano to see Remus sitting at the bench, his fingers still over the keys. "What are you doing here?" 

"Hiding. What song is that?" 

"How did you find this place? The Moonlight Sonata."

"I wished to find a place to hide while pacing in front of a portrait of someone clubbing a troll. Who wrote it?"

"You can't tell anyone. Beethoven."

"Can we please stop having two conversations at once?" Li snarled. "I'm just here until Filch goes away." Remus got up and peeked out the door.

"He's still there."

"Just great!" Li said sarcastically. "I'm stuck in here and to top it all off I'm in here with the lackey of Potty head."

"Well as long as you're talking to yourself, I'm going to go back to playing," he told Li.

Remus shook his head and went back to playing. He closed his eyes and blocked out the sound of Evans' pacing. He came here to be alone and he wasn't going to let Evans' ruin that. When he finished, Evans was silent and had stopped pacing. There was something strange about Evans.

"Can I play?" Evans asked. Remus looked up at Evans. His manner was different than usual. Remus nodded and forfeited his seat. Evans sat down and put his hands on the keys as if he was shaking the hand of an old friend he hadn't seen in years. His feet reached the pedals and he began the introduction. It was a contemporary song, pretty new in fact. It was written by a muggle named John Lennon. It was called Imagine. Remus had heard it loads of times, his sister was a Beatles freak and had all of their music before and after their breakup. 

The first verse passed, no singing accompanied the piano and none was needed. Remus softly sand the second verse.

__

Imagine there's no countries,

It isn't hard to do,

Nothing to kill or die for,

And no religion too.

Imagine all the people,

Living life in peace.

You may say I'm a dreamer,

But I'm not the only one,

I hope someday you'll join us,

And the world will live as one.

Remus let the piano play the last verse on it's own. Evans was a very good piano player. How did he learn a muggle song?

Li stood up. That _Griffindor_ was staring at her. She scowled at him. She walked over to the portrait. The coast was clear. She stalked out of the room in true Slytherin fashion. Everything was always in true Slytherin fashion, why couldn't it ever be in 'The Griffindors are pissing me off' fashion or 'leave me alone I'm having a bad day and you don't need anymore explanation than that' fashion?

She got down the passageway, it took her to the fifth floor. 

"I finally caught you," Filch cackled. He took her by the shoulder and led her away.

****

I know I've very lucky to have great reviewers and I would have given this story up long ago if it hadn't been for you guys. Thanks. I'm trying to keep going. I think I have one more chapter where I know what I'm doing. Sorry for putting in the music, I'm obsessive over the Moonlight Sonata and I play Imagine. I know the song might not have been out at that time, but work with me here. Oh, what year are they in? Did I indicate that? If I did or I didn't I think I want them to be in sixth year cause it works better for me, but I think I put them in fifth year so I'm double checking and if no one would mind I would like them to be in sixth year.


	17. Disillusionment

****

Hi, little do you know but I am wrapping it up, the end of this story anyway, be there a squeal? Most likely cause I know people don't usually read stories if they're longer than 30. I'm not e-mailing anyone else for help cause the last person who said she would help me hasn't contacted me yet and I'm giving her a bit of time to get back to me. If you want to leave ideas I'll try to incorporate them in.

Oh, note to all people who have to suffer through marching band camp like I do. If there is a trumpet player who eats all by herself (might be reading), go up and say hi to her, she's really quiet a loud person but she really doesn't know how to go up to people who look like they already have friends, so go say hi to her. (That's me incase you're wondering.) Particularly if it's the only girl in a trumpet section of five, she's a freshman, everyone knows her sister, she has blondish hair and the other freshman is REALLY good and she's not so good. Than that's almost definitely me so come say hi.

"Bye guys, I got detention," Li told Severus and Lucius a week later after dinner about a week after their sneaking into Hogsmeade. 

"I still can't believe you were caught," Lucius told her. 

"I'm glad it's only one detention and not several," Li responded. "I got to go, bye." Li walked away leaving Severus and Lucius all alone.

"He acts like a girl sometimes," Lucius muttered.

"Li is a girl, remember?" Severus reminded his friend. 

"Well Li's being a real bitch lately."

"Maybe it's that time of the month?" Severus offered. Both shuddered, not liking this train of thought.

"Li's like a guy who PMSes," Lucius complained.

Li made her way to the trophy room. She was in for a scrubbing and polishing secession. Li did not think this was the worst detention to be done. In her opinion doing lines was much worse, than again Li was used to washing dishes and dusting things without magic since she was muggle born. 

She got to the door and stopped. The glass was reflective and allowed her to see her reflection. She looked around to see if anyone was coming before pulling back her hair. She piled it on top of her head like she had seen some girls do. She turned her head this way and that to get a better look. 'Maybe I should start putting my hair back,' she thought. She pulled it straight back. Not many boys wore their hair like this, but it wasn't completely unfashionable. 

Li entered the trophy room and almost tripped over Remus Lupin.

"You got caught too?" he asked. "Mrs. Norris found me trying to get back to the common room about half an hour after you left."

"I got caught as well," Li murmured. 

"There are some rags and such in that pail," Remus pointed out.

"I'll do this half of the shelf," Li said. Li picked up a rag and started polishing the already very clean trophies. It seemed that SOME people had already ad enough detentions to make them forever clean. Li worked for about an hour. She heard Remus mutter something under his breath. 

"What is that?" Li snapped.

"Breathing exercise, I play the French horn as well and this helps with tonguing," he explained.

"Well stop," Li growled.

"You sound like my sister," Remus chuckled.

"You want to go flying?" 

"I now you're not what you pretend to be," Remus said seriously.

"And what do I pretend to be?" Li demanded.

"Male. I know that you're a girl."

"You want to make something of it?"

"Not really, just telling you I know."

"How do you know?" Li asked.

"It's little things. Why you're voice sounded so feminine when you were singing at the opening feast, you're manner, your cousin's uncanny resemblance to you and the fact that you were piling your hair on top of your head before you came in put everything into place," Remus explained.

"I know what you really are," Li informed him.

"How do you know?"

"I know you're a werewolf because of when you are missing, when your friends are particularly cranky and the fact that I saw the lot of you crossing the school grounds as animals."

"Won't tell if you won't," Remus compromised.

"Even to your little friends?" Li asked.

"Won't hear about it from me. I would like to comment you look very beautiful when you chose to," Remus told her.

"That's all the make up talking. Besides, why would anyone care that you're a werewolf?"

"It wasn't the makeup, you think I care about that? Wouldn't people hate me?"

"It was and it seems like that's all guys care about, how someone looks. Why would anyone hate you?" 

"It was the attitude you had that made you beautiful. I know your fellow Slytherins would hate me, probably an excuse to get me kicked out of school."

"Can we stop having two conversations at once? Actually we aren't as bad as you think we are. We're a pretty open bunch as long as people respect that we have a different out look."

"Fine. What about the whole no mudblood thing?"

"Actually lots of people in Slytherins are muggle born. You're not allowed to tell anyone, it would ruin our image. We're all about image, when you get to know us we actually have a lot of fun just hanging out and such. They're really good friends too, there when you need them no matter what as long as you don't show te outside world hw much you care," Li explained.

"Why do the Slytherins care so much about image?"

"If the world found out what we're relaly like, they wouldn't take us seriously. They would walk all over us. Every house is like that. Griffindors aren't all that much more brave than the rest of us or the Ravenclaws that smart of the Hufflepuffs that loyal. It's the image we all keep up to set us appart cause we don't want to admit we're the same as everyone else. That's why the Slytherins pretend to care about the whole mudblood thing. Of course, there are some who've been around the pretending so long they believe it, like Lord Voldemort."

"I'm glad someone else can say his name. So you don't support him?"

"I don't get why he's doing all that. What's he trying to do? Kill off all mudbloods? That makes no sense since we all started out as muggles at one point. Set up a new government? Why would his be any better than the one in place and if you ran out of mudbloods to torture, the majority would continue to torture the minority until there's only two people left and then those two would battle it out and eventually die.

"I'm sure once all the mudbloods were killed he planned to stop with the destruction."

"Tyrants are never done. I don't know if you ever heard of World War II. Anyway, really horrible guy named Hitler. He wanted to kill off all Jews in Europe and probably the world. He was after gay people, Roma and others. If he had succeeded and killed off all those people, things would have still gone wrong and would have still needed a scapegoat so he would have turned to the largest minority and blame them and then the people after then and so on."

"I've heard of World War II, I'm actually a half blood."

"I'm a muggle born myself," Li admitted.

"Why do you always insult us by calling us mudbloods if you're a muggle born yourself?" Remus asked.

"Because purebloods take a great offense at it even if called it by a mudblood. They immediately think it's inferior and therefore allow it to have power. If no one cared it wouldn't be a good insult."

"It's been good talking to you. I've finished my half and I have to work on that project. Everything you said won't pass my lips."

"I'll keep my silence as well. I guess all of you aren't so bad," Li admitted. Remus smiled and got up to leave. He turned the knob and was stopped by a question. "Don't you want to know my name?"

"It doesn't matter, as you said, names and classifications mean nothing since it's just an image we all try to live up to but don't really fit in to," Remus summarized. He was out the door when he heard Li whisper, "It's Lily."

****

3 and a half pages! This chapter kinda has a mind of it's own and went it's own way. There's a guy in my section who's always doing that breathing exercise and I don't know if French horn players do it, but I'm pretending. It's kinda like "Tou ka tou ka" really quickly over and over again. 


	18. The Attack

****

Instant Inspo for this chapter help of Cicilia Orrio (sp) everyone say hi. Um, yea. I think I got about three more chapters left in this story and then I start the sequel. 

It was that annoying week. The pseudo vacation. It was where the school pretended it was giving you time off but in truth you spent the whole week studying for exames. Yes, it was Spring Break at Hogwarts and not a single person in all of Slytherin house went home. Most of the Hufflepuffs did and a few Griffindors, but the Slytherins and especially the studious Ravenclaws were all glued to their books. 

Thankfully there was a Hogsmeade weekend right at the end of the week giving all the book crackers an excuse to rest their weary and filled brains. 

Hogsmeade was exactly where Lucius, Severus and Li, along with the rest of the population of students who had stayed, were. Lucius visibly winced as a young Hufflepuff girl frolicked around the town happy to be outdoors.

"I hate bloody Hufflepuffs," Lucius complained as he took a sip of his butterbeer.

"So damn cheerful," Li agreed.

"The worst part is they try to make the rest of the world be cheerful," Severus commented. 

"Why can't they leave us to sit and drink our butterbeer in peace without their singing and skipping?" Li demanded. "I'm glad there are few Hufflepuffs in our year."

"Didn't you tell me the hat threatened to put you in Hufflepuff?" Severus teased.

"It did. It told me I needed to loosen up and I would in Hufflepuff. I threatened it with scissors and it agreed to put me in Slytherin," Li told them.

"I remember that," Lucius said. "I was wondering why that spending a long time thinking about that one cause right after you threatened it the hat called out boy was shouting threats at the hat. I think you cursed worse than I do now. I knew you would make a good Slytherin."

"I remember you threatened to dismember the hat and I remember Slytherin," Severus reminisced. 

"Yea, remember we spent weeks wondering where you slept?" Lucius said.

"Took you guys a whole year to put two and two together," Li snickered.

"Not our fault. You look and act like a boy and as innocent first years," Lucius started and was interrupted by Li's snort. "Ok, more innocent than we are now and we did not suspect such things of people. We were very trusting back then." Li snorted into her butterbeer again.

"Trusting? Severus didn't trust anyone to work with him in potions cause he was afraid they would mess it up. And you Lucius would not tell anyone anything. You two would put spells on anyone you told anything to, even what you had for breakfast so it would go off if they told," Li argued.

"Oh shut up," Lucius tried to say in an annoyed tone of voice but traces of laughter were evident. 

"You guys wouldn't talk to me until I pulled a prank on Potter and co," Li reminded them.

"We didn't know about you till you did," Lucius defended himself. "Anyway, the reason we met you was because switched the oils with pure water and the potion they were working on blow up in their faces. Then you were sent to the office where I was for my 'authority problems'" 

"I was there because of my 'anti-social problems.' They were worried about me because I kept to myself. I swear the nurse asked if I had mental problems. She's a bloody loony," Severus remarked.

"Yea, I remember you sat by yourself and snarled at anyone who sat next to you," Li said.

"And you were the one who had a book in his hands all the time," Lucius told her.

"And you were surrounded by Crabbe and Goyle," Severus said.

"I didn't like the first few weeks of school," Li shuddered.

"Remember in the office we turned all the pictures around?" Severus asked.

"Actually Li and I did that, you just helped. Dumbledor wasn't there so we all introduced ourselves and you sulked off to a corner. Li and I started switching the pictures around and you joined in after making sure you message of sulking got through to us," Lucius laughed.

"We got in so much trouble for that. We were sent to clean out the cages of the various creatures the Care of Magical Creatures Professor had," Li commented.

"We got some pretty bad cut from that. Do you guys still have your talons?" Lucius inquired.

"Course," Severus assured him. "We spent so much time finding them, why would I lose mine?"

"I got mine here," Li told them producing the talon that was under her shirt on a chain.

"You're such a girl, wearing it as a necklace," Lucius snickered.

"You know how quickly I lose things, if I took it off I would lose it," Li protested. 

"I still have a scar from trying to get those things," Lucius put in. He lifted his sleeve to reveal a mark on his arm.

"Wow, I can't believe we have only one more year," Li said. 

"One more year," Severus repeated. The three sat in silence for a bit before the noise of the street reached them. The three bounded out of their seats, leaving money on the table. They quickly exited the bar. People were running everywhere, it was mass hysteria. Screams could be hear in the distance. 

"What's going on?" Lucius demanded out of a random third year he had grabbed.

"Deatheaters!" the first year choked. Lucius released his grip on the boy who promptly began running again.

"What are we going to do?" Severus asked.

"We're going to join the Dark Lord," Lucius told them. He started off in the direction of the most recent scream. There weren't any deatheaters currently in sight.

"He'll kill me," Li shot back. "I might be a Slytherin but he doesn't care about such things. He only cares if you are muggle born or not and if you've forgotten I am a muggle born."

"Let's get all the Slytherin muggle borns out of here," Severus suggested. Lucius just stood there.

"You can join him another day. You're house is more important than you blood," Li reminded him. Lucius made a decision.

"Ok, let's go," he said. The three took off down the street in different directions. Everyone they found they herded toward the carriages. Li, Severus and Lucius raced behind the frightened people. The students were running on fear and could not tell much difference between three rumored to be cruel and dark Slytherins and the death eaters. The three herded the people like cattle toward the carriages. 

"You get these!" Lucius shouted at them. "I'll get those ones!" Lucius pointed to a group who had started running in the wrong direction. Li nodded as she and Severus began pushing the students closer in toward the carriages. Some refused to move for they had been petrified in their fright. Li and Severus lit their wands to make them look more threatening to non-moving people. 

"Go to Hogwarts!" Li shouted as she closed to the door to a carriage that contained several muggle born Slytherins.

"Li! You have to get out of here yourself," Severus yelled at her as he sent off another carriage.

"I can't, I have to get all of them. I won't see someone die," Li protested.

"You're too softhearted to be a Slytherin. Go now before I tell Lucius."

"Where is he?" Li shouted.

"I think he's trying to divert the death eaters from other Slytherins," Severus called back. The wind picked up and a cloud passed over the sun. The dark mark, a skull with a snake coming out of it's mouth, rose up over the town in green lights.

"You have to go now!" Severus insisted. He attempted to shove Li into a carriage. 

"We have to get Lucius out of here. He could be killed for helping mudbloods."

"He'll be fine just go." As he said this several long hooded figures emerged from behind the corner. Li gasped in surprise. She had though they would go to the town first and not try to get the students. In this moment Severus pushed Li into the carriage and slammed the door shut. The carriage took off. Several death eaters shot spells at the carriage but all missed. Li banged on the door yelling as the image of Severus being held at wand point came into her mind. 

They would kill him. They would kill both of them. Somehow they had known she was muggle born and they were going to kill Lucius and Severus for it. Li watched as the carriage drove away from Hogsmeade. Why had Severus done that? Why had he sacrificed himself that way? It didn't matter; all that mattered now was to tell Dumbledore what was happening.

The carriage screeched to a halt and Li vaulted out of it and scrambled toward the office. She pounded on the door to McGonagol's office until the door opened. 

"What is going on?" McGonagol demanded.

"Attack on Hogsmeade," Li panted.

"Are you sure?" McGonagol asked. She wasn't ready to believe a Slytherin when they told her a story like that. Li nodded impatiently. A younger student that Li had shoved into the carriage earlier ran up to them.

"Deatheaters are in Hogemeade," the girl told the professor. McGonagol's face changed instantly. She grabbed both Li and the girl and dragged them toward Dumbeldore's office. 

"Salt water Taffy," she told the gargoyle. The Gargoyle promptly moved so they could get through. "There's been an attack on…" she trailed off. The office was completely empty. There was a note on the desk. McGonagol turned pale as she read it. Li peeked at the words over her shoulder.

_Minerva,_

Went out to fight Deatheaters. Be back in time for tea.

Albus Dumbledore

"He makes it sound as if he was going to the movies or something," McGonagol mumbled. She then noticed Li and the girl were still there. "Well get going." Li and the girl went outside. They turned in their opposite directions and began to walk off. 

"Excuse me, Evans," the girl called back. Li stopped where she was but didn't turn around. "Thanks for saving my life today. If it weren't for you I would still be back there. People told me that you should be avoided at all costs and you would kill me if you got the chance, but thank you for saving me."

"Forget it," Li snapped back. "I thought you were somebody else. If you want to be all emotional I'll send you flying." Li heard the girl's footsteps retreating quickly away. Li walked purposefully toward her common room. 

"Wingardium," she told the portrait. It swung open to reveal Lucius and Severus sitting on the couch talking amiably. She ran toward them and pounced effectively knocking them off the couch.

"You don't have to go and be all emotional," Lucius told her. "Not like we were in any trouble."

"What happened?" Li asked.

"Nothing much," Lucius shrugged.

"What happened?" Li asked more forcefully.

"Had a chat with the deatheaters. Quite nice blokes, they want me to be a deatheater when I leave Hogwarts," Lucius replied calmly.

"Yes, they asked if I wanted to as well," Severus said conversationally. 

"They gave me a demonstration on some spiders of some curses and such."

"They said they had heard about my potions skills."

"You two sound like you're talking about the weather," Li snorted. Indeed their tone of voice suggested they were talking about nothing of great importance and certainly not about an encounter with deatheaters.

"What, you weren't worried or anything were you?" Lucius teased in a light voice. His voice was one of an older brother teasing his sister about her latest crush.

"Course not. It would just be a bit quiet here without you two sods. Probably be a bit more sensible too," she argued. The three of them got into a polite toned argument about whether or not Li was worried. Each laughed and joked about what had happened that day, but each was thinking about how close they had come to losing their life.

****

Bad ending, but I'm moving closer to my goal. My mum wants me to clean my room so I'd better go. Thanks for the ideas. Bye.


	19. The Game

****

A/N high?D I'm glad you liked that part, my guidance counselor used to ask me if I had 'problems' cause I would write poetry and stuff on my arm and refused to show her. She said my 'friends' were worried about me. Well I didn't really talk to anyone particularly no one who would take my writing as anything more than boredom. 

GO PEOPLE WITH ANTI SOCIAL PROBLEMS! WE RULE THE WORLD IN WANTING PEOPLE TO LEAVE US ALONE! 

I have issues. Can't you tell? Look, I grew up in a small town in the same school with the same fifty kids for nine years. I have a right to be screwed up. 

Back to the story, Cecilia, REALLY sorry I spelled your name wrong, I was too tired to look it up when I wrote my thanks. I'm REALLY sorry and please continue to help me.

Anyway, she's reading the next chapter so I'm writing the chapter necessary for that one to happen but I'm waiting for her to see if that chapter is ok cause it's an important one.

"It's the game of the season. This is the final game to determine the winner of the cup," our favorite Slytherin Quidditch captain said dramatically to his team.

"Thank you Captain Obvious," someone muttered. 

"We need to win this game," the captain continued, "so don't screw this up." This last snarl was directed at Li. Her face darkened. Lucius put a warning hand on her shoulder. Li was volatile, but particularly before important games. He, she was a natural flyer and had the grace of some itching to be in the air so much she didn't care who she stepped on when her feet were on the ground. Unfortunately before all really important games, even so much as a scowl in her direction put her off. It was a rumor that Evans had beat up a boy and shoved him into the girls' bathroom for making a disgusting face in her direction even though it was later found out that he had eaten an earwax flavored bean. Li neither confirmed nor disproved this story so it remained a legend.

"Let's go out," Lucius told her. She nodded and took a deep breath before marching purposefully onto the field. She resembled a skittish horse before a race. 

"I want this to be a nice clean game," the ref told them. The two captains shook hands and everyone flew into the sky. The Quaffle was thrown into the air and the game began. The opposing chaser snatched it. Li noted ideally that the opposing team was Griffindor. It didn't really matter, a game was a game no matter who you played. Lucius stole the Quaffle from the poor Griffindor chaser but dropped it when hit in the head by a bludger directed at him by a BLACK haired beater. 

The Quaffle was taken by Potter and the game continued. Li did a few circles in the air to stretch out. The opposing seeker looked at her like she was nuts. Li scowled at him and searched for the snitch. The other seeker decided to trail Li rather than looking for it himself. There was no sign of the snitch so Li decided to give the other seeker a run for his money. She dived suddenly only pulling up a meter from the ground. The other seeker caught himself just a few centimeters before crashing.

Li continued to chase the pretend snitch when a glint of gold caught her eye. It was zooming in fast circles around the field and doing loop de loops. Li followed it at top speeds zooming round and round. He stomach gave a lurch as she went upside down once again. There it was, right under her. There wasn't enough time to turn her broom so Li did the only thing she could think of. She dropped her hands and hung upside down, her legs clinging to the broom. The snitch once again changed position so she put a hand on the broom and chased after it while remaining upside down. 

In the back of her mind she heard the announcer yelling that flying upside down had to be illegal. He was a Griffindor, what did they know about playing fair? The snitch was again underneath her. She dropped her hands but it was still out of her grasp. She loosened her legs until she was hanging on only by her ankles. She felt the feathery wings of the snitch brush her hand. She silently prayed for her broom to speed up and felt the cool gold ball slip into her hand. She allowed herself a moment of triumph. She heard the shouts and yells of the people on the field. She felt the wind shift. She tried to tighten her grip with her ankles. The broom swerved violently and on foot feet leaving her hanging on with the top of her foot. It started to slip and she knew it was only a matter of seconds before she fell. Her foot lost contact and Li felt herself falling. She felt light as a feather and very heavy at the same time. Things seemed so peaceful. She was simply falling through the sky. 

Severus watched from the stands. He saw Li catch the snitch. The whole Slytherin side went wild. Severus took his attention off the field for a moment. He turned back and saw her fall. He saw her falling through the air at breakneck speeds toward the earth. Her body hit the earth with a sickening thud. Severus pushed past the Slytherins. The mob made it hard to even take a step. There was more than one person who had fallen and was being trampled. He turned his gaze to the field. Lucius had gotten to her and someone was conjuring up a stretcher. Her body was taken away. Severus could see the teacher trying to get rid of Lucius who was following Li, but he refused. Severus saw the teacher give up. The three of the disappeared into the castle.

****

Ok, not my best, but it's a connecting chapter, it gets you to the next one. The next one will go up as soon as the person who's helping me gets back to me.


	20. Realizations

**Major help in this chapter from Cici. Everyone say "Thank you Cici." Ok, I'm trying to use the metric system, but I'm not very comfortable with it so stay with me. For us stupid Americans, a meter is slightly over 3 feet so thirty meters is a few feet over 90.**

James hurried into the Infirmary following on very panicked looking Severus Snape who in turn was chasing after his two friends who had entered the infirmary a few minutes earlier. James did not know why he was checking on the Slytherin's Seeker. He suspected it was the sportsman ship his father had forced into him as a young boy where when your opponent gets hurt you make sure they're ok. 

"I thought they tried to discourage girls from playing Quidditch!" Madam Pomfrey yelled not noticing that Severus and James had entered the room. "They cannot take this abuse on a daily basis."

"Li has taken it for the past four years and this is the first time she has ended up in the hospital wing, she's not some delicate girl," Lucius argued.

"Girls? She?" James said confused. His face screwed up in an expression of one trying to comprehend the information given and why they have not been in the light of it before. 

"Yes, girls, you prat," Lucius snapped. "Now get out of here!" James didn't move. He was still wrapped up in his thoughts. Lucius waved a hand in front of the Griffindor's face. He didn't even flinch. Lucius tried to shove James but the confused statue still would not move. 

"Not delicate? Not delicate? Look how skinny she is!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed. She removed the Quidditch robes leaving a pale blue tank top and shorts. "How much does this girl eat? You sure she eats?"

"She eats enough to feed the whole school in one meal. Severus makes sure she eats her vegetables," Lucius defended his friend.

"She can't take this kind of sport, she's not strong enough! She's a girl!"

"Why the bloody hell should that matter? She loves to play and she's a brilliant player!" Lucius retorted. Li opened an eye slightly and winced at the bright light. The other occupants in the room were wrapped up in a conversation except for one, who appeared to have turned to be petrified.

"No matter! Quidditch is a dangerous sport; it's a wonder they haven't banned it yet! It's like what those muggles do, bungee jumping," the nurse exclaimed. 

"Oh yes, don't bother to check if I'm awake while you all go jabbering on why don't you?" Li said.

"You're ok!" Lucius cried. He ran over to give her a big hug, knocking down James in the process and waking the Griffindor from his long contemplation. "That was a bloody long fall, you sure you're ok? You need anything?" 

"I thought you had lost consciousness," James stammered. "That fall was enough to put someone in a comma." The shock from the fact that he no she had survived a fall from very far up and the fact that the guy James had thought was a he for six years was actually a she. These two thoughts tried to penitrate James' mind at the same time and left him with trouble speaking.

"Come on, I might be a girl, but I'm not that weak," Li argued not noticing the amount of stuttering. "Anyone who says I am can go flying." Li winced as she sat up. "Well, maybe tomorrow they can go flying, I don't think I would be able to grip my wand at this moment. So did we win?"

"Want me to get it for you?" Lucius asked worriedly. 

"You will have no need for it Evans," the nurse informed her.

"She fell over a twenty bloody meters, if she wants her bloody wand she gets her bloody wand or any other bloody thing in this bloody world then no bloody person is going to take her bloody wand or any other bloody thing away from her and if you think you are going to bloody well take if from her, then you're bloody mad, you're all bloody mad," Lucius said. 

"Wow Lucius, I think you just made a new record for the most amount of bloodies used in a sentence," Li joked. "Did we win?"

"Oh shut up," Lucius laughed. He leaned over to give his fallen friend a hug. "Now I'm serious, if there's anything you want just tell us and don't let this bloody nurse bug you." They both smiled. "What the hell do you think you were doing?" Lucius asked, changing tones quickly. "I mean really. Forget the fact that you are the best bloody seeker our team has ever had and maybe the best the school has ever had, but didn't you think about what would have happened had you not survived? Common sense Li! You don't go chasing a snitch at speeds of a hundred kilometers per hour while hanging upside down on your broom with no hands and doing looped de loops. Did it ever occur to you that it might not be a good idea? You were about twenty bloody meters above the ground! Do you have a death wish?"

"I've jumped worse," Li replied nonchalantly. "Once again I ask, did we win?" 

"yes we did win. With your capture we won 175 to 120. And no you haven't. Third year does not count! Jumping ten meters on a dare from a third floor classroom does not count. This was twice that amount and Severus and I had made the ground soft! The bloody ground of the Quidditch pitch is hard, plus you were going at fast speeds." 

"Was not that much of a difference, I ran that time. You forgot I jumped in fourth year as well," Li reminded him.

"You're mad, you're bloody mad." Lucius' smile took the sting out of his words. 

"Alright, I want all of you out of my hospital room right now!" Madam Pomfrey cried. "You're upsetting my patient."

"I am not upset, I am arguing, there is a difference!" Li protested. 

"Screaming at the top of your lungs counts as being upset," the nurse argued.

"I wasn't screaming, I was yelling," Li retorted.

"Doesn't matter," Madam Pomfrey told her. She herded the boys out. The doors closed behind them leaving Lucius, Severus and James all alone in the corridor. Lucius and Severus shrugged and started off toward their dungeon. James just stood there. What had happened?

James tried to review what he knew. Number one: Li Evans was a girl. James tried to think what would be number two but gave up. How had someone pulled off being taken for a guy for six years and why hadn't the Marauders found out? Had Li been posing as a girl when James had met Elaina. Had James really fallen for a Slytherin. James gained a disgusting look on his face. James realized he had a headache and gathered this was because he had been walking without knowing it and had walked into the wall. James aimed himself in the direction of the Griffindor tower and continued walking. 

"Hi James, have you seen Evans? Is he ok?" Sirius asked when James entered the tower. James pondered why Sirius cared. Sirius generally wasn't one to be worried when a Slytherin got hurt. James supposed that seeing someone fall through the air like that made one worry.

"I can't believe it, she's a girl.

"What's going on here? Who's the girl?" Sirius asked.

"She's in the hospital?

"Who's in the hospital?

"Evans is."

"He's going to kill you for calling him a girl but he's ok? So who was this girl you were talking about?"

"James has a new girlfriend?" Peter asked uninterestedly.

"James always has a new girl, they never last," Remus replied absentmindedly.

"I thought he still fancied that Elaina," Peter said.

"But apparently he's got a new girl," Sirius told them.

"NO!" James yelled. "Li Evans is really a girl and she's in the hospital wing."

"Oh, that's all this is," Remus said dismissively.

"Wow, you think you know a guy," Sirius said as if in awe. **(My friends "AWWWWWWW!" Me "Not that kinda of awe, the other kind." My friends "AHHHH!")**

It was several days before anyone was allowed to visit Li, but that left a lot of time for brooding for her friends and for those who were just enlightened to her secret. Lucius and Severus asked hourly when they could come visit, but it was James who, in the end, got to see her first due to very opportune **(VOCAB WORD!) **sense of time. He was grudgingly admitted into the Hospital Wing while the general population of the school had lunch.

"Fine, you can see her, but if she starts to tire, come and get me right away," Madam Pomfrey instructed. James nodded and went into the hospital wing. He saw Li propped up in the bed reading from the latest Quidditch magazine. When she heard him enter, she quickly hid it before realizing who was there. 

"Thought you were that witch of a nurse, got mad when my owl came to deliver the magazine," she explained. "Thought it was too much excitement for the 'poor injured girl' and that I'm 'too delicate for such surprises.' "

"Are you ok?" James asked.

"I'm not made of glass," Li retorted.

"So why didn't you tell me?" James asked.

"Tell you what?" Li asked him.

"That you're a girl," James exclaimed.

"Why should I have told you? I don't owe you anything."

"I'm a fellow Qudditch player. Isn't that something?" James asked hopefully. The fact had been bugging him since he had found out. James sad down in a chair next to her bed and fidgeted like he always did when nervous. He kept having images of Elaina and the Evans he had always known stuck in his head. Both were people to be nervous around though for different reasons. Evans he had known would threaten bodily damage on whoever insulted him and Elaina was simply intimidating and yet very delicate at the same time. 

"No."

"But you're so beautiful, why did you hide it?" James asked.

"You think that was me? That was a mask I put on, an act and you feel for it. This is the real me. You think you know me but you don't. I don't want that mask. Masks are so the weak can hide."

"But why?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"I want to know."

"You really want to know why? All my life was called pretty. I was patted on the head. I wasn't allowed to do anything. Then I come to Hogwarts, the 'pretty' little girl. I sit on the train, minding my own business and in come several boys. They tease me and they pull my hair. They dared me to cry and they laughed when I asked them to stop. Then in came in another boy with hair you would later describe as 'greasy.' He told the other boys to sod off and yelled at them until they went away. He told me not to mind what Potter, Black and Pettigrew said. At the sorting, I told myself I would not go into the same house as my tormentors. After I was sorted, I told Dumbledore I wanted to change my name and I didn't want to be called Miss. I became friends with my savior, though he doesn't know I was the same person from the train." Li explained. Her voice held hidden aggression. 

James stood there, speechless. He remembered that little girl. He didn't even remember why he had teased her, all he remembered was the fury and hurt on her face. He remembered he had looked for her for several years afterward to try to apologize but he never found her. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again quickly.

"Let me tell you about my cousin. I only have one cousin and now I don't even have her. Her mum, my mum's sister, died when my cousin Sarah was six. Her father went a bit crazy and we now know he hit her. She never let it show. When I was twelve, she was seventeen. She was dressed for a party and walking in a perfectly normal and safe neighborhood. Witnesses say a man came up to her. He looked desperate. He said someone needed CPR and he didn't know how. She followed him. She was assaulted, raped and beaten. She was missing for weeks. When we found her, she was a quivering mass. She wouldn't talk. She would just sit there all day, hugging herself, staring at the wall and humming a little tune to herself. She wouldn't respond to us, didn't even acknowledge our presence. 

"Whenever any man walked into the room she started screaming. She lived like this in our house for a month. During this time she had therapists and mental health workers visiting all the time. They decided they needed to take her away to some happy house. The night before she was to leave, she killed herself. I saw her. She walked down to the kitchen. We hadn't locked the doors since she hadn't moved previously. I was downstairs reading when she came down. She patted my head and pushed me upstairs, she never said a word. I didn't know what she was doing. She locked the kitchen door against me. 

"We found her the next morning. Her wrists had been split and she was lying in a pool of her own blood. We found a note when had written in her own blood. She had written, _I'm free._ So she proved me right just as you had. Being a girl means you're vulnerable. It means people take advantage of you, it means you're weak!"

"Let me ask you a question," Li said. "Why do you care? Why do you feel you need to come the rescue of poor Li. Don't think you need to show me the meaning of life or how to be the real me, cause your looking at the real me."

"But it's not! You need help sometimes." James eyed her wand that was lying on the table. He stared at it like it was going to jump up on it's own and do something horrible to him.

"I'm not some bloody damsel in distress and I don't need some damned knight in shining armor so don't try to all heroic. I can take care of myself," Li told him. Lucius appeared at the door and starting making his way over.

"Can you answer one more question?" Li nodded. "What's your name, your real name."

"Lily," she answered. 


	21. Graduation and the End?

****

Thanks all of your who remembered to thank Cici. I'm skipping time now cause the time between these two events are none import and I must leave you with a choice. I can either write the next segment of the story here or I can create a squeal. It's your choice. Up to you. I personally think a squeal is better cause it allows me to redirect the flow of the story. The next one will contain all the important things. (How Lily and James fell in love, their later lives, the birth of baby Potter.) So it's up to you if it's continued here or if it's in a different title. Please tell me which you prefer.

"I present to you the salutatorian which is to be given by Li Evans," Dumbledore announced to the assembled crowd who had come to see the graduation of the seventh year class. Li got up from her seat and walked past her classmates to the podium.

"Thank you. Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagol, faculty, students, friends and family, welcome to the graduation of the class of 1974. **(According to my very researched calculations this is correct. If it's not, deal.)** I like my fellow classmates have spent seven years at this school, learning, living, and making friends. Today we leave this school. We leave the protection we have been granted for the past seven years and thanks to the dedicated at Hogwarts, we are up to this task. Thank you." Li walked back to her seat quickly. The ceremony went quickly to some and agonizingly slow to others. James and Li got up for the passing of the school colors. Next year's Head Boy and Girl accepted the Hogwarts Seal just like James and Li had done last year. James wasn't sure how he thought of her. He still refereed to her as Evans out loud and in his mind but he would find himself staring at her wondering. Soon it was all over and it was time for the valedictorian to make a speech. 

"It is my privilege and honor to present to you our valedictorian, James Potter," Dumbledore said. The usual twinkle appeared in his eyes. Jame rose slowly from his seat and made her way to the podium. He had never felt so nervous before. 

"Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagol, faculty, students, friends and family, I want to thank you for being here for us on this day of our graduation. Today we as we leave these halls for perhaps the last time we face the unknown. We face a future that is going to be decided by us for the better or worse. We will have to make decisions that will affect us for the rest of out lives but we will be able to make them because of the support we have gotten from every here. We will learn not to care what other people think of us, we will break barriers and in the face of danger, we will not turn away. Bravery is not the absence of fear but being able to continue on even in the face of it. They say Griffindors are the brave ones, but I believe we all are. It takes bravery to get out of your bed in the morning, who knows what could be waiting on the other side of the door? 

"This school has been our world and now that we're leaving we reflect on our memories here. I hope everyone will remember the game where Evans flew upside down and caught the snitch. I hope everyone is grateful for what they've had here and will take it with them. Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagol, faculty, students, friends and family, we are the class of 1974. We are the future, stock up on dry goods," James ended. The class laughed. He made his way back to his seat. Diplomas were awarded. Everyone threw his or her hat in the air. 

Through the confusion of everyone collecting their hats, Li found James. It was one of the first times in his life when his friends had not been around him. 

"Hi Evans," James greeted her. He brushed the dirt off his hat. "We made it." He offered her his hand. "Friends?"

"Maybe not friends, it's too much fun being enemies. You keep me on my toes," she replied. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed James on the cheek. "I'd take your own advice about the dry goods." She smiled and slipped away into the crowd. James stood there shocked. He touched his cheek. 

"Jamesie old boy! Where have you been?" Sirius asked slapping his friend on the back. 

"She, she," James stuttered. 

"What?" Sirius asked looking very confused. 

"Nothing old pal, nothing at all," James said regaining his composure. The two went to find their families and friends. In their minds they realized that life would never be the same. James could tell it would be the last time he would see Lily Evans, he only feared he would one day have to face her as a true enemy.

****

Ok, not the best chapter. Tell me if you want sequel or if I should just continue on here. It's up to you.


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